Monday, December 24, 2012

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 54

Merry Christmas to all of you and your families. Thank you for following my rambling scribbles

Episode 54 – December 23 – Another great night’s sleep. I love my blue pills and my new digs. Even though it is physically closer to the nurses’ station than where I was previously, it is quieter. Room 623 faced the door to the station and 621 was next to their actual work prep area.
Denise is back as my day nurse which is great but it means the daily curtain wars will be back on but I still have my trusty reacher. Hee hee! I’ve had another good run of nurses since moving with Layla and Felly as my night nurses for the past three evenings. Denise is scheduled to be my night nurse for tomorrow and Tuesday so hopefully I’ll have a decent day nurse as well over Christmas.
Denise decided to weight me again today and if the finicky bed scale is anywhere accurate, I’m down another five kilos. Hospital food is at least good for something.
I’m still having problems training some of the staff with regards to my name. Unless you are trying to sell me something or I owe you money my name is Dennis not Mr. Donnelly. This of course just encouraged Denise to be contrary so she’s been calling me Mr. Donnelly all day.
Denise has found a new way to torment me today. Edna’s family has decorated her window sill with flowers and Christmas decorations. One of these decorations is an animated snowman that sings “Let it Snow” when you press the button. She makes a point of playing it every time she passes it. And you all know how irritating electronic novelty items can be after the second time after you play with it. Note to Leslie: I’m not referring to your “special” electronic novelty items. ;-)
I didn’t have to wait long today for the physios. Adrian and Dal showed up at 10 AM. For the most part, we only worked standing and weight shifting although I did get to do a little bit of walking both forward and backward to and from the doorway. We couldn’t push our luck because for safety reasons, there needs to be a third person following behind with a wheelchair in case I faint again. At the end of my treatment, we figured out one of my problems. As another safety precaution, they had a transfer belt around my chest so the therapists can hold on to the patient. When they took the belt off, I realized it was restricting my breathing so tomorrow we will either put it around my waist or not use it at all. There’s something else I learned today; we actually forget how to walk. When Adrian asked me to start taking some small steps, I could not remember how to walk and I had to stare at my feet and think for a few seconds before I could move them forward.
Denise and another nurse used the lift to put me in the wheelchair for the first time since Tuesday. I can really do the old guy routine, pretending to sleep and drooling now because everyone that comes to visit anyone has to pass by me and try to avoid eye contact. It’s fun to make people feel uncomfortable. Hee hee!
By the time I finished lunch, I was ready to go back because I’m still having tailbone issues sitting in the chair. Denise and I cheated and did the transfer ourselves which is probably against the rules. I think pulled the curtains closed more to hide the fact we were doing it than for the sake of my long lost modesty.
Denise was also kind enough to sneak me a slice of pizza from the nurses’ lounge. It’s amazing how good something tastes when you are deprived of it. Hey! I’m down five kilos! I deserve a treat. ;-P
For some reason, I was more tired than usual this afternoon so I ended up taking a good nap for about an hour. This will mean that the little blue pill will have to work overtime tonight.
The scariest part of taking a nap between 3 and 4 is that I missed the dinner fairy so it was likely I would be getting the chicken or the fish which seem to be the default items for dinner. To my surprise, they sent me salmon which is the one thing they serve that can be qualified as good as opposed to passable or edible. They seem to serve this only every couple of weeks and it is frightening to think I’ve already had it four times.
One of the things you learn when you work in a place for a long time is how to subvert the rules. Denise qualifies in that regard. Besides doing the one person assist earlier today, she is extremely resourceful. Following strict rules, each section is supposed to order supplies from stores and wait for them to show up. She knows which sections are likely to have things and she goes and borrows them. This was the case today regarding cream for my feet which are getting reptilian again. She had ordered some and it never showed up. She went and found some elsewhere and now my feet look a lot better. I really do need a pedicure soon with some heavy duty exfoliation.
Dr. Haaf stopped in this evening and Layla gave him a glowing report about my walking on Friday and told him I was a good candidate to get moved downstairs to rehab unfortunately they are pretty much down to a bare bones staff over the holidays so I wouldn’t be moved until the New Year anyway. This wasn’t really news for Dana; it just reinforced his opinion.
Layla and I were joking about me wasting everyone’s tax dollars being here and then she told the biggest drain on hospital costs is actually hospital related infections. The causes include airborne transfer from a patient or visitor, invasive procedures like catheters and contact infection. These infections can add several days to a hospital stay.
We have another entry in our poolside story contest. Tanya has weighed with the kinkiest story so far. It has to do with doing something nasty and fun on a trapeze. We have to work on the details on this one. Hell, I want to see the video on this one! And of course, we have to figure out what happened to the other party/parties.
After Layla brought me my evening stash of chemicals, I settled down to watch a couple of non-descript comedies on Shaw and finished off the shortbread.
To be continued...


  1. Sounds like things are looking up... Merry Christmas Dennis.

  2. Hahaha.... I do the same thing with the animatronic toys at work to the annoyance of the staff in the insurance kiosk.... The penguin sings "Christmas Day.... Celebrate".... The dog flaps his ears and sings "Merry Christmas... you make me wanna SHOUT"... Think of me every time she "presses the button" on that sucker! Merry Christmas!

  3. @Nancy- Thanks. It looks like I'll be listening to the Huskers game on ESPN radio. My new goal is the Irish game on the 7th. I may have at least a small shot at that.
    @Tammy - Bah Humbug! Oh wait you're bugging insurance people. In that case, Carry on! ;-)