Saturday, December 1, 2012

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 31

...are you still there? Okay let’s continue...
Episode 31 – November 30 – Today was the last day of November, a month I would soon love to forget seeing that I spent it entirely within in the confines of the fifth circle of hell. It also means the end to Movember and we won’t have to look at those pitiful attempts at moustaches that so many dudes have been cultivating. Regardless thanks for the efforts guys and for raising all that money for a great cause. And it’s not too late to donate either. Here’s the Crown Prince’s MoSpace page. Just Click Here.
My sleep last night was a repeat of the night before so I am refreshed and re-energized. The problem with increase energy levels is that I get more bored than tired during the day.
Layla came by before going off shift to check my glucose levels and it was a disappointing 6.6. This is the highest reading I’ve had for the three weeks. Hopefully, it is just an anomaly.
Again I drew another nurse from the open pool, Ka Ming or Kam. He’s quite efficient and helpful.
One of the positions that I find very relaxing is to hold onto the overhead triangle above my bed and tilt my head over to one side and stare blankly off into space with my mouth open. I do this almost unconsciously. I think I startled a nurse this morning while she was working at the sink and saw me in the mirror. She turned around looking for a noose. Oops, my bad!
They put me in the wheelchair just before lunch. While there I had quite a conversation with Collette across from me and her daughter. They were just waiting for clearance to check out. The irony is that while I have to wait a few more weeks to get; I will be mobile when I leave while she is going to bedridden for the most part for at least two months at home with a broken hip. At least she timed her injury well as far as her business goes. She owns the gelato stand at the Tsawwassen ferry terminal. We had a giggle because she is one of the few people that loves overbooked ferries and breakdowns and hates hourly sailing schedules. People need to kill time while waiting and then they get out of their cars and shop and buy gelato. This is definitely, a case of clouds having silver linings.
Dr. Haaf came by and for once there wasn’t much for me to bitch about. He had already made sure my physio schedule was still intact.  The one thing on the chart he was concerned about was that my hemoglobin levels were a bit. The funny thing is he couldn’t figure out why there had been so many tests and who ordered them and why no one else questioned it. Communication is such an overrated concept.
After about two hours in the chair, I had Kam gather up some bodies to for the ride back to bed. One of the team was another nurse, Natasha. Natasha was a bit frightening. After seeing my book about the Green River Killer, she went on about several other serial killers dating back as far as Charles Manson. She knew way too much about the topic for a young lady in her twenties. My guess is this would be a first date warning sign.
After Natasha left, the guy that visits Anne, the 100 year old in the other corner came over and chatted while Anne got her physio. He overheard Natasha and asked if I was into true crime stories of which I’m not usually. But chatted more and he seems to be an interesting fellow. He’s a retired curator of the North Vancouver Museum which is obviously loaded with items for the shipbuilding industry which were primarily from the Burrard Dry Dock where by coincidence is where Lorraine worked after leaving school until it closed in the late 70’s. This gent may be retired but he’s still quite active teaching a design course last summer and putting together an exhibit for the Scandinavian Cultural Society on Scandinavian modern design in 2014. Regardless, he still talks too loud when he’s visiting Anne. Today’s block out music is some Cactus, a band with roots as far back as 1969, which a co-worker, DK, loaded on to my laptop a couple of years ago. 
Jenny, the Cap U student, showed up to apply the physio terrorism to my knees. Obviously they trust her because they let her do it on her own. She’s going to need help next week because we up the ante to 60° of range of motion. The knees are feeling great and that’s a good thing.
After four, they brought another woman in to fill Collette’s bed. This one is another pre-op hip fracture at least in her eighties and hard of hearing as well. She is another screamer and whiner, so the earbuds are going to be filling my ear canals almost 100% of the time. Hopefully, when she returns from surgery tonight or tomorrow, she’ll have calmed down. This may be a two blue pill night.
This afternoon, the vampires sent up one of their human slaves to steal a snack off me. This time it was to check my iron levels to figure out what was going on with my hemoglobin.
I missed the dinner fairy again tonight, so they sent up the baked fish. At least this time it was edible.
Sandi, my former cellmate, Art’s daughter, popped her head in the door on her way to see her dad in the isolation unit. The long struggle is starting to take a toll on her and had to vent her frustrations about all the problems with her siblings who for the past ten years have had nothing to do with her and her dad. She said she’d drop by tomorrow in better and put some lotion on my feet which are beginning to resemble shedding reptiles with scaly dry skin hanging everywhere. They could probably use a scouring with a belt sander before any lotion.
Rosita was back as my night nurse so all is good.
Speaking of good the cookies and the peanuts are still tasty!
But the damn tap is still dripping.
To be continued...


  1. My memories of hospitalized Templetonians probably have absolutely no relevance to your current experiences, Dennis, but your writing has lit them up in my brain. If you ever see the following persons, or anyone who has visited them while hospitalized, they may have fun tales to tell, particularly about the topic of what visiting Templetonians brought them:
    (1) Rick Jorgenson. Visitors with possible fun tales may be: Tony Maniezzo, Victor Jenson, Ray McLennon. This one's probably the funniest, as it happened just after or before we graduated and the late great Al Karmazyn was among us. ie I doubt that Rick remembers even a smidgeon of the experience, thanks to his pals.
    (2) Ed Higginbottom, also fondly known as Higginshits. Visitors: myself, any of the Greenwells, my older brother Fred.
    (3) Dan Loften. Visitors: not myself but I was around him a lot when he got home; his brother & sister; my little brother Mario.

    Email me if you have any specific donation requests; you know that I'll do my best to have anything you desire arranged.....

    Keep up the good fight, Dennis.

    I'm sure I speak for many others by saying this to you: Of all the delightful Templetonian Irish-Canadians, you are by far my favourite.

    *hugs* xooxxo Ruth.

  2. PS Instead of "Keep up the good fight," I was going to say "Hang in there," but after reading Episode 31, I thought you'd wince, then changed my mind.

  3. Out of the misery comes Sandi....what a wonderfully kind woman!