How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 17

...when we left you last our hero was tied to a hospital bed...

Episode 17 – November 16 - The little blue pill worked great last night and I woke up after 7 AM and I am already feeling much more energetic than yesterday.

I finally found out my new roommate’s name, Larry but he’s really temporary and will be going home today. His wife is a real pain and a bit of an entitled bitch. Last night, she kept closing the room door leading to the hallway because she didn’t like the noise. Besides the fact that it is supposed to stay open so that the nurses can keep aware of any problems, it also helps the air to move in this sweatbox.

I have Felly for a day nurse so I know things are going to be okay today.

Breakfast of course was another story because the breakfast fairy didn’t appear beside my bed last night. I wouldn’t she came by and saw the closed door. As expected, they brought me oatmeal sludge and an effing banana! To top it off they brought me coffee so I had to improvise on my tooth brushing.Rinsing out your mouth without ice water is not as comforting as warm water.

Dr Haaf came by to report that my EI forms had been mailed and was now at the mercy of Canada Post and Service Canada. He also wanted to let me know that the lab report had not come back but the nurses were still reporting my urine smelled funny. (Mantra time... “I never want to be a nurse”) Dana also ordered an ultrasound of my kidneys. ROAD TRIP!!

In the meantime, Larry was getting ready for to be discharged and his wife was carrying on about this and that. When they were down the hall I just calmly stated, “Bitch” and the nurses in the room burst out laughing.

Felly came in later and told Dana had reinstated my prescription for ranitidine (Zantac) which is great because one of my fears is being woken up in the middle of the night with an acid back up. I do not miss that choking sensation followed by the burning in the throat.

The lunch fairy dropped to take my order. She was quite proud of the fact that they made all the soups from scratch in the kitchen downstairs and I must admit the soups for the most part have been good and hardy except for the split pea soup that always looks and tastes like something Linda Blair spewed up. She should have quit while she was ahead because she went on to say that the made everything for scratch. Whoa! Let’s talk about the cream of wheat and the oatmeal. Bleccchhh!

Shortly after lunch, a hospital porter showed up and he says to me, “I’m here to take you down to ultrasound so they can scan your neck. “TIME OUT HERE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY NECK?”  He showed the order sheet and it read “Renal Scan”. Phewww!!!

So after a little more confusion involving transferring onto the stretcher, I was wheeled down to the ultrasound department. I was greeted by a cute little French-Canadian girl, Natalie who told me she was going to be doing my scan. I am happy to report that both kidneys were there. I am now reassured that nothing nefarious happened that morning I woke up in the bathtub in Tijuana. After she finished the scan Natalie left the room to write her report and consult her supervisor. While waiting I decided to take a nap because I can just never get enough time to nap here.

When I got back to the room, I found the OT/PT team waiting for me. They wanted to get me into my wheelchair but after problems finding the proper lift sling and cushion issues they gave up until Monday.

While all the transferring was happening  on my side of the room they were also bringing a new patient in to fill the vacancy across from me. So it was like Grand Central Station in room 621.

Meanwhile to add to the chaos, a Code Red was called due the smoke alarm going in the building next door, Evergreen House. Apparently this is common occurrence because some over there lost the recipe for toast. This also brought a very scary thought to mind because an evacuation was ever necessary, I would be screwed.

Because of my field trip today I missed the dinner fairy. Dinner came and I had to check the inventory card to check what it was. Baked fish in cream sauce...bland to the umpteenth degree.

Sergio was my night nurse but this isn’t as serious problem as when he is the day nurse because the only I require of a nurse is to bring me my nighty-night drugs and a fresh pee bottle when required.

So I finished the evening watching one of my guilty pleasures, Survivor. Just a note for other Survivor watchers, I had no qualms about Jeff Kent being voted off last week. For San Francisco Giant fans this was karma. Jeff Kent’s cold bat in the 2002 World Series was the key reason the Giants lost the series to the Angels. He then jumped ship to the Astros the following spring,

So after a lovely bed time story from Rachel Maddow about senate reform, I drifted off to sleep.

And someone left that damn tap dripping again.

To be continued...