How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 21

...meanwhile back at the ranch...

Episode 21 – November 20 – Woke up this morning at 6:30 after some rather vivid dreams and began my exercise routine.

Solly came by to check my glucose levels which have been hovering just above and below the 6.0 level each morning. I am not looking forward to doing this myself when I get home. I just have a thing about self mutilation. Yes, I admit it, I’m a big baby. So there!

Esther’s my day nurse today so that adds a positive start to the day and breakfast with corn flakes instead of gruel is another positive note. However, all morning I have had this strange vibe that something is wrong. I get this feeling every so often and about 70% of the time something weird happens.

Maybe my Spidey senses are a little confused because Esther let me know that I have a shower booked for tomorrow. More positive news; now I’m getting scared.

Just before lunch, the physio decided that it was time for me to sit up in my wheelchair. The move team consisted of a new physio, Esther and Angela, the student from Langara who changed my dressing yesterday.  The problem with this was that none of them had participated in my transfer before so I had to instruct them in the whole procedure including how my legs had to be strapped down to each legrest.

Angela was a bit disappointed when she found out my dressing didn’t need to be changed again today because a few other student nurses wanted to see my cool fracture blisters. Different strokes for different folks.

So I got to enjoy my scrumptious lunch of a spinach salad and a dry salmon sandwich sitting in a chair.  for some reason they had omitted the soup. I checked the menu card and it did list borscht. I am not a fan of beets on their own but I enjoy a good borscht especially with a dollop of sour cream in the middle.

While in the chair my latest roommate moved out. The biggest problem with these quick turnarounds is that increases the comings and goings and the general chaos in the room. First when they bring a post-op patient there are several nurses running in and out off the ward and when they are being discharged there are therapists, doctors and such and then the housekeeping crew comes in to clean up the bed area in preparation for a new patient. They moved another overnight post-op in within two hours today. Tomorrow is going to be even worse because Charlie is being discharged so the craziness will double.

The new guy said the most ridiculous thing when discussing his precious dogs with Sam, the nurse. Sam said that she had to put her dog down. His statement was “I know how you feel. Losing a dog feels worse the losing a child.” Really, dude? And then he went on to say “the best way to get over it is go out the following week and adopt a new puppy.” I wonder what his advise would be for losing a child.

I spent two and three quarter hours in the chair today which was a bit too long and I was extremely tired. By the time the nurses were ready to use the lift; I was half asleep leaning to one side. Yes, I had become that old guy you see in every hospital drooling on his gown semi-conscious.

Dinner wasn’t half bad, beef macaroni with carrots. The pasta for once wasn’t severely overcooked.

On a completely different note, over the past few weeks, all the nurses passing through stop and admire my pedicure and the colour of my toenails, a metallic dark red. Although it originally started as a dare, I have continued to do have my nails painted for several years now. Awhile back someone very dear to me tried to convince me to stop this silly little habit for a number of reasons primarily to avoid people assuming things about me. I had seriously considered making this change. I finally decided not to stop at this time because I realized the true reason I keep doing it. It makes me feel good. Yes, I’m weird but weird is good. I love this person dearly for caring so much about me and I know she will understand and accept my decision for the time being. (Note: one of the first orders of business when I get paroled will be a fresh mani/pedi along with an overdue haircut.)

Kevin checked in as my night nurse and brought me my little blue friend and after Rachel Maddow, I headed off to dreamland.

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 20

Episode 20 – November 19 – My little blue pill did wonders last night giving me eight hours of solid sleep from 10 PM to 6 AM. I immediately got to work on my upper body exercises in anticipation of another busy day here in paradise.

They hauled our new cellmate to the OR while I was stretching; not if he’s coming to our room or not. They had him on a wait list all day yesterday to go in for his surgery so he had been on a no food or drink order all day. When it was finally confirmed that he would be going in they brought him a tray of food. His turned it down because he was supposedly a vegetarian. It turns out he’s actually a fake vegetarian; the kind that eats fish and eggs. Actually I’m pretty sure that a vegetarian would have no problem here anyway because there is never anything resembling meat on those trays ever.

Kevin is my nurse for the day. He definitely does not fit the standard description of nurses around here. Besides being a larger sized male, English is his first language. Kevin is also the one we all have to thank for finding pajama bottoms for Charlie.

Not seeing the magic breakfast fairy the night before of course meant gruel this morning. They did however throw in a slab of cheddar cheese along with my whole wheat toast. I decided to supplement my meal by opening up the jar of peanuts that Pam and Dennis brought me last week. This may have been a mistake because they were way too tasty.  

While enjoying my delightful repast, the vampire returned to scoop up a couple of snack size test tubes of her own. She mumbled something about my blood count but I could see her salivating as slinked off into the shadows. Does anybody hamper to have Buffy’s new phone number?

I must have been having some concentration and memory issues this morning because I was having a few problems typing. Normally, I type similar to the touch typing method I was taught in high school. I was never great at it but it is like my fingers remember where the keys are. If try the hunt and peck method I get lost. This morning couldn’t seem to remember where the keys were. I’m back to where I should be.

For the first time in awhile lunch was on par with the other meals. I opted to try the turkey tetrazzini instead of the tuna sandwich. It was beyond tasteless. The soup which is normally the best thing on my tray all day was cream of potato that resembled most of the breakfast gruel.

While lunch was being served, the new guy returned from the OR.

They finally got the seating issues straightened out on my wheelchair so after almost a week of lying in bed they were able to get me sitting up at a ninety degree angle. After a lot of fumbling and adjusting they got settled.

While up it Kevin thought it might be a good time to change my dressing and by coincidence a group of students from Vancouver Community College happened to be on the floor doing dressings so Kevin brought in Angela to do mine. She did a great job on mine and because of the odd blister configuration around the incision, she will probably have the most interesting report back in the classroom. It was actually funny watching how a student does everything does everything so slow and methodical step by step while an experienced practitioner will combine the steps and speed through the process. You see this in all professions.

Because of the new cushioning system I was able to sit up in the chair for over two hours which was the therapist’s goal for today without any but pain in the butt. It was refreshing to settle back in bed with fresh new linens.

One thing I did confirm is that it feels much more secure when they let me run the lift controls. The therapists wouldn’t let me going into the chair but going back I convinced Kevin to let me do it and Angie, the nurse’s aide confirmed I had done it before. I think maybe a regulation is getting bent a little when a patient operates the lift. Hey, I’m a rebel!!

So I started a new book by Ann Rule “Green River, Running Red” about the Green River killer. This should make for some sweet bed time reading and pleasant dreams. Thanks, Mona. ;-)

Every once in awhile, dinner shines as the best meal of the day. That would the case when the grilled salmon on the menu. Finally, something had taste.

Spent the evening catching up on “Treme” an extremely well written HBO series about post-Katrina New Orleans; great characters and fabulous music.

 Solly, my night nurse took my vitals and loaded me up on evening meds as Rachel Maddow read me another bed time story.

Oh and damn those peanuts are tasty!

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 19

...shall we get on with it...

Episode 19 – November 18 -  I was up at around 6:30 after a bit of a fitful sleep due to a combined effort of my own restlessness and the screaming of another delusional patient down the hall. I began my first set of isometric and resistance exercises along with deep breathing exercises. The last thing I need is to get sick in the damn place.

Just make sure everyone was awake, the alarm sounded and it was another Code Red in Evergreen House. Don’t those people know how to make effing toast?

Maria is my day so I’m not expecting a lot. Her English is suspect but so far, she’s been able to deal with all my outrageous demands.

I did receive a visit from the breakfast fairy last so I avoided both the cream of wheat and the banana. The alternate choice for fruit was apple. I assumed the apple would be the regular chopped up pieces in some juice but it was a whole apple. I don’t normally eat whole apples because I have a nasty overbite and a huge gap between my two front teeth. When I do bite into one I actually more so scoop with my bottom teeth.

Dr. Chow dropped by again but I’m not sure why. She had not bothered to check for my lab results. She did waste my time talking about my body mass index. Yes, I know I have to lose weight. No, I don’t need you to send up the dietician. I know what I’m doing wrong and I know I have to correct it.

One of the things I try not to do is wallow in self-pity. My situation is temporary and in a few months I will be doing fine. I have through a number of much more devastating, traumatic and permanent events in my life. I know too many friends that are at present going through much more difficult times dealing with chronic illnesses or ailing parents. My heart goes out to all of you.

The good news today is that the nurse found a real pair of pajamas instead of a gown for Charlie in the opposite corner. That image of him heading into the washroom will no longer be burned into my visitors’ minds. (Sorry about that, Louise!)

Jim in the bed across from me got paroled

Around noon, one of my favourite Facebook friends, Leslie came in to visit with a couple of cappuccinos. We shared quite a few laughs while we solved all the world’s problems as I nibbled on my lunch consisting of a tuna sandwich and mushroom soup. (Don’t worry, Lee...it was good but it couldn’t hold a candle to your concoction.)

The most hilarious thing about Leslie’s visit actually came after she left. She had just texted her boyfriend with “Had a n*** visit” and for some reason Virgin Mobile’s version of autocorrect had changed it to “Had a n*** booty call”. Boy, I had better not have been sleeping and missed it. I suspect Sir Richard Branson and his wicked sense of humour had struck again. :-)

While Leslie was still there, my new cell mate arrived. We couldn’t tell exactly what surgery he had but using our joint deductive skills and observing that his right leg was propped up on pillows and bandaged up we hazarded a guess that the operation may have involved his right leg. (Turns out he's actually a pre-op patient booked for surgery in the morning.)

I managed to pull in a raw camera feed of the Lions’ game off the TSN website and accompanied by a second site giving a play by play description I sat back and followed the contest. Alas, the boys tried but fell just short. Oh well, there’s still my Fighting Irish and 49ers.

While watching the game, a nurse’s aide brought in my afternoon fruit snack; another effing banana! I couldn’t even be civil; I just about bit her head off.

The best word to described dinner is beige. Edible but forgettable. A principle rule in culinary presentation is never serve cauliflower and mashed potatoes with chicken. The menu card contained the description “Zesty Garlic Chicken Gravy”. Apparently zesty is a synonym for “m-eh”. 

Oh, and for those that missed my FB posting, I really do know a former Twinkie Straightener. Just watch this news clip.

After an abnormally long time due to my low energy levels, I was finally able to finish JK Rowling’s “The Casual Vacancy”. I enjoyed it immensely. This is definitely not for children.

Felly brought me my evening cocktail consisting of an anti-inflammatory and a sleeping pill. After watching a couple of cheesy sitcoms, I let that little blue pill carry me home.

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 18

...open your notebooks and we will begin today’s lesson...

Episode 18 – November 17 – Getting to sleep last night was a little more difficult, Art was acting up and yelling. Our new roommate, Jim was getting his first taste of life in 621.

Sergio decided that he should wake me up at 6:30 to check my glucose levels. The good thing at least was my reading was 5.9. Yay!!

I tried to go back to sleep but the early morning vampire had to come and grab a snack from me before the sun was fully up. This time she claimed it was to check my B12 levels.

Right after Vampirella left, Dr. Chow, the on call doctor dropped on Dr. Haaf’s request. Obviously she hadn’t read my chart because the first thing she asked me is if I was walking around much. Ummm...no! She was supposed to be there to check on my possible urinary tract infection and without lab results there wasn’t much that could be done.

Last night the breakfast fairy sort of came by. She shuffled into the room walked to the window and then walked out down the hall. I saw her walk by again, look at the room and then disappear again. Needless to say there was gruel on the tray today. At least there was a little scoop of scrambled eggish stuff with my slice of toast. Fellie had talked to the dietician and got her to include some cranberry juice each morning. However, what they actually brought was cranberry cocktail which is one step away from red Kool-Aid. Even most cranberry juice you buy is only a small portion of cranberry. It’s mostly apple and grape juice but at least it is juice. Recently studies have been on cranberry juice and the effects in aiding the urinary tract are minimal but at best it won’t cause a problem.

It turns out that the new guy on the ward is Jim McFarlane, former head of the BCTF. I’m sure several of you teachers will remember him. I don’t know what he’s in for but hospitals are like prisons, you don’t ask. If they volunteer the information fine but sometimes it’s good to be kept in the dark. (I found out later it was for a knee replacement.)

I have a new day nurse today, Catherine. She seems quite good and efficient however she almost seems she want to be a doctor. She is a bit too thorough.

People have asked me about how I can deal with the boredom of lying in bed. To tell you the truth at this point in time I don’t get bored. Besides having several things to do like my writing and reading, my energy levels are so low that these things take a lot out of me and I have to lie back and even nap to re-energize. By the time boredom kicks in it is the end of the day.

One of the ways I was able to pass my time today was cheering my Notre Dame Fighting Irish walk all over Wake Forest and I was able to do it for free from a legitimate site. Hopefully I’ll be this lucky for Lions playoff game tomorrow. The Irish are now within a whisker of playing for the national championship.

The Crown Prince dropped in just as the game was ending. Acting upon my request he brought up with him some lip balm because my lips were drying out and cracking from the hot room. He also brought up a new nail care kit and if you have to ask why you don’t know me. Truthfully, I only asked him to buy a pair of clippers because my fingernails were getting too long; the rest of the items were a bonus.

Speaking of the heat in this room, Bryan kept looking for a thermostat but not to turn it down but to make sure it wasn’t a system designed by his company. Ever vigilant, that’s my boy.

We had an interesting discussion about several news items, the Hostess shut down and we decided to scrap our idea of investing in a grow op and go into the business of black market Twinkies. Bryan also experienced what I have I to deal with all day; listening to nurses in very loud voices speaking to old, nearly deaf, mostly delusional old men about their body functions and the corrective measures they were going to take. This while he was trying to decide what he was going to do about dinner. I believe he put off his decision for an hour or two.

While Bryan was there a delivery came for me. It was a fruit basket from CUPE 1004. Anyone care to guess what the top two items were? Steve, didn’t you tell them about the bananas? Lol!!

Dinner was another tasteless treat, meatish balls; very similar to the Salisbury steak the other day, only spherical.

Art was particularly delusional today climbing out of bed and falling on the floor twice and causing a general alarm amongst the nursing staff. The strange thing is that immediately after the last incident he had a very lucid conversation with Jim about farming in Saskatchewan. After about five minutes however he lapsed into his normal state.

Fellie was my night nurse and while checking my vitals confirmed a minor trend. My oxygen absorption levels were lower than normal. This is due to my shallow breathing while lying in bed and I have to work on breathing deeper.

After doing a final check on the NCAA football scores and confirming that both Kansas State and Oregon lost, I drifted off to sleep happily knowing that my Fighting Irish would be number one in all the polls tomorrow.

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 17

...when we left you last our hero was tied to a hospital bed...

Episode 17 – November 16 - The little blue pill worked great last night and I woke up after 7 AM and I am already feeling much more energetic than yesterday.

I finally found out my new roommate’s name, Larry but he’s really temporary and will be going home today. His wife is a real pain and a bit of an entitled bitch. Last night, she kept closing the room door leading to the hallway because she didn’t like the noise. Besides the fact that it is supposed to stay open so that the nurses can keep aware of any problems, it also helps the air to move in this sweatbox.

I have Felly for a day nurse so I know things are going to be okay today.

Breakfast of course was another story because the breakfast fairy didn’t appear beside my bed last night. I wouldn’t she came by and saw the closed door. As expected, they brought me oatmeal sludge and an effing banana! To top it off they brought me coffee so I had to improvise on my tooth brushing.Rinsing out your mouth without ice water is not as comforting as warm water.

Dr Haaf came by to report that my EI forms had been mailed and was now at the mercy of Canada Post and Service Canada. He also wanted to let me know that the lab report had not come back but the nurses were still reporting my urine smelled funny. (Mantra time... “I never want to be a nurse”) Dana also ordered an ultrasound of my kidneys. ROAD TRIP!!

In the meantime, Larry was getting ready for to be discharged and his wife was carrying on about this and that. When they were down the hall I just calmly stated, “Bitch” and the nurses in the room burst out laughing.

Felly came in later and told Dana had reinstated my prescription for ranitidine (Zantac) which is great because one of my fears is being woken up in the middle of the night with an acid back up. I do not miss that choking sensation followed by the burning in the throat.

The lunch fairy dropped to take my order. She was quite proud of the fact that they made all the soups from scratch in the kitchen downstairs and I must admit the soups for the most part have been good and hardy except for the split pea soup that always looks and tastes like something Linda Blair spewed up. She should have quit while she was ahead because she went on to say that the made everything for scratch. Whoa! Let’s talk about the cream of wheat and the oatmeal. Bleccchhh!

Shortly after lunch, a hospital porter showed up and he says to me, “I’m here to take you down to ultrasound so they can scan your neck. “TIME OUT HERE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY NECK?”  He showed the order sheet and it read “Renal Scan”. Phewww!!!

So after a little more confusion involving transferring onto the stretcher, I was wheeled down to the ultrasound department. I was greeted by a cute little French-Canadian girl, Natalie who told me she was going to be doing my scan. I am happy to report that both kidneys were there. I am now reassured that nothing nefarious happened that morning I woke up in the bathtub in Tijuana. After she finished the scan Natalie left the room to write her report and consult her supervisor. While waiting I decided to take a nap because I can just never get enough time to nap here.

When I got back to the room, I found the OT/PT team waiting for me. They wanted to get me into my wheelchair but after problems finding the proper lift sling and cushion issues they gave up until Monday.

While all the transferring was happening  on my side of the room they were also bringing a new patient in to fill the vacancy across from me. So it was like Grand Central Station in room 621.

Meanwhile to add to the chaos, a Code Red was called due the smoke alarm going in the building next door, Evergreen House. Apparently this is common occurrence because some over there lost the recipe for toast. This also brought a very scary thought to mind because an evacuation was ever necessary, I would be screwed.

Because of my field trip today I missed the dinner fairy. Dinner came and I had to check the inventory card to check what it was. Baked fish in cream sauce...bland to the umpteenth degree.

Sergio was my night nurse but this isn’t as serious problem as when he is the day nurse because the only I require of a nurse is to bring me my nighty-night drugs and a fresh pee bottle when required.

So I finished the evening watching one of my guilty pleasures, Survivor. Just a note for other Survivor watchers, I had no qualms about Jeff Kent being voted off last week. For San Francisco Giant fans this was karma. Jeff Kent’s cold bat in the 2002 World Series was the key reason the Giants lost the series to the Angels. He then jumped ship to the Astros the following spring,

So after a lovely bed time story from Rachel Maddow about senate reform, I drifted off to sleep.

And someone left that damn tap dripping again.

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 16

...you in the back pay attention there will be a quiz on this...

Episode 16 – November 15 – Denise woke me up at 6:30 to check my glucose levels which have been leveling out below the official 7 marker for diabetes. She told me the specimen had already been sent to the lab and Dr. Haaf had been notified of the problem. The pain was still there and almost as uncomfortable as last night.

Felly came in this morning as my day nurse and this was definitely a good thing. Because of the added stress of a possible infection, the new pain and a few other things I was probably at my lowest point since the surgery mood wise. I knew with Felly I would be getting good care.

The vampire dropped by again on the pretense of checking my hemoglobin but won’t they be surprised by Lee’s roast garlic mushroom soup.

Breakfast was passable because of the fairy visit last night so I got Rice Krispees with my whole wheat toast and fruit.

My mood did not improve after my requested meeting with the Occupational Therapist. The time frame was explained more clearly and I am actually going to be immobilized in the braces for four more weeks. My actually walking therapy will only be for a couple of days before being discharged and I will continue doing intense outpatient therapy for few weeks afterwards.

My mood was also affected by the apparent increased chaos in the ward. It seemed that in the first part of the morning there was at least twice as much traffic and noise in and out and that was with Art behaving himself for a change.

A procedure to get my exhaust systems working was performed. (Once again chanting “I never want to be a nurse”.) It seems the codeine and opiates weren’t the things causing my problem. Your body works at its best when vertical; when horizontal you are defying gravity. (Okay, that link is way off base but I through it in for Janice, Marla and Mo and any other fans of musical theatre for a little giggle. Admit you’re smiling now.)

The best thing of the day and probably the best thing that happened since I got here took place today. The OT department found a shower stretcher and they located a shower room on the seventh floor big enough to accommodate it. The trip to the seventh floor had a bit of sadness attached to it. We had to pass the Palliative Care Ward which was the last place I saw Lorraine.

The shower was surreal. I was lying on the stretcher being hosed down by two nurses the process reminded a lot of how they wash down the bodies in the morgue on CSI. It felt so good to scrub my hair with real shampoo. I admit I was starting to feel and smell quite gamey. I feel sorry for the likes of Pam, Dennis, Louise and Lee having to waft in my lovely fragrance yesterday.

The other thing I noticed while showering is that the pain in my side had settled down and I could only feel it when I took a deep breath.

Back in the room, Felly set me up to scrape off the tiny little hairs growing on my face. If it wasn’t for the fact that I was feeling so tired today, I would have said I felt like a new man. At least, I felt human again.

Just as lunch arrived, Felly came into change my dressings. Putting off meals here is not exactly upsetting.

It’s always appetizing to stare at incisions, staples, bruising and blisters. It’s funny, any guy who has come in has turned green even thinking about lifting the blanket to see the braces. Meanwhile, women come in and are right at it checking out even the oozing wounds. It must be the Mommy Gene. ;-)

Dr. Haaf came by and we talked about my side pain. He was able to confirm that it wasn’t a kidney problem but we would have to wait for the lab cultures to come back to determine if there is an infection of any kind.

I couldn’t believe how exhausted I was. I was only able to get through ten pages of my book, it took me all day to skim the Vancouver Sun and Province and writing this took forever  normally I’m on top of my writing and just keep updating throughout the day.

Thank you to my co-worker, Francis, for the kind words you sent yesterday.

Dinner tonight was turkey with rice and carrots. There was nothing bad about but I bring it up for two reasons. I am not a big fan of cooked carrots but I will eat them if necessary. I decided to forego them and substitute one of my mandarin oranges. How did Robbie Burns phrase it? Oh yes...”the best laid plans of mice and men oft go asunder”. I ended up brushing my teeth before remembering the orange. I’m sure you have all tried orange juice after toothpaste. Yuck!! I decided to skip the orange. The rice is a different kettle of fish. Any of you who have followed me on Facebook, will recall I keep whining about a series of gum and tooth surgeries over the past few years. My most recent has been a several staged implant procedure. The final stage was to be done at the beginning of December but I’ll be kind of occupied for the next little bit. The problem is I have a deep hole where that tooth is supposed to go and this is a great place for rice kernels to hide. I spend a lot of time flushing them out with warm water. I haven’t even considered eating quinoa for the past few months.

I spoke too soon about Art today, after staying peaceful all day he started acting up again trying pull the curtains back. I had to keep pulling them out of his hands.

My night was Maria. L hadn’t met her before so I couldn’t give you an assessment on her. Who my night nurse is isn’t not that crucial because I only interact with them to check my vitals at the beginning of the shift and then bring me my Celebrex for inflammation and that cute little blue pill to send me to dreamland.

So after watching Rachel Maddow and having my brain warped by her pinko, feminazi  utterings i laid myself down to sleep.

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 15

...in case I haven’t bored you already, let’s move on...

Episode 15 – November 14 – Damn this means I’m starting my third week in this hell hole. Time flies when you are having fun!

I was up doing my bed exercises by 5:30 after a bit of a restless sleep in the early hours.

I was absolutely delighted to find that Sergio was going to be my nurse again today. Okay, I lied. The man moves way to slow and thinks almost as quickly. It is time for him to retire. My only hopes I have for today are that Denise’s request to the Occupational Therapist to devise a shower chair for to come through and my OT-PT comes in and steps up my rehab program.

Breakfast didn’t suck totally sure there was the oatmeal slop but at least they included a hard cooked egg with my whole wheat toast. They sent me coffee instead of tea and I make a point of never drinking cafeteria type coffee. The lack of hot water for tea also meant I had to further improvise with my tooth brushing by using some of my drinking water and pouring it into a milk container for a rinse cup and as usual using the empty fruit cup for a spit jar.

Speaking of milk containers, I cannot figure out how these old guys could possibly pull the foil tops off these and the juice containers. I darn need power tools to get into them myself. I have also learned that it is best to hold them as far away from your body because they will always squirt back at you.

Sergio is so effing slow and so far behind that he didn’t bring me my morning meds until 9:30 when they should have been delivered between 7:30 and 8 and I still had to stab myself with my blood thinners. This is a habit I never want to get used to.

Pam and Dennis dropped by to visit with a few goodies like mandarin oranges and peanuts and brought my mail from the past few days. It was n*** to visit with my new UK stamps before putting them back in the envelope and sending them back home. Pam was also kind enough to print out my cover letter for my EI claim so all I need is for the doc to fill his part and I’m on my way to getting some money out of the deal.

The lunch fairy came in and today’s options were tuna sandwiches or chicken al a king. This was a no-brainer. I had indulged in the tuna last week and it was passable and chicken al a king although when made correctly and fresh can be delicious but cafeteria style usually comes out looking and tasting like vomit.

Art was sitting up this afternoon and he re-discovered his birthday cards particularly the one that plays "Celebrate". FML :-(

Just after 1 PM they brought in a new ward mate to occupy the bed opposite me. I don’t have any stories about this one yet but I sure I will. But I can see from here he has a magic black button; time to plot a stealth attack. *insert evil maniacal laugh and hand rubbing*

Not long after my roommate arrived, I received another surprise visit from another classmate, Louise, who also happens to be part of one of the many branches in the tangled Donnelly family tree. Her sister, Brenda,  is the mother of my nephew, Matt and grandmother of my great-niece, Emily. Lou was kind enough to bring up some tasty sausage rolls. Damn it, Lou Lou, don’t you remember it was sausages that got me into the mess in the first place. Hee hee! She brought some throat spray to help eliminate the bitter taste at the back of my throat left by sleeping pills. We had lovely chat and then I had her take back the rest of the sausage rolls for fear I would eat them all and that would not be a good thing, Before leaving Louise snapped a couple of pictures and subsequently posted them on Facebook. Louise also found out that I haven’t been exaggerating about things here especially about the heat in this room and Sergio. Louise also got to see Charlie’s good side. Ewww!

This brings to mind the answer to the question that everyone asks “What can I bring you?” I pretty much have most of what. I like to read but at this point in my reading rate is much slower than usual and the books I have stashed here now will probably do me for a few weeks yet. As far as food goes I have a  somewhat restricted diet so maybe a couple of mandarin oranges might be okay but don’t be surprised if I send them back with you if I’m overstocked. This was the case with Louise who had brought a few with her but I already had a supply from Pam.

I now have a secret to confess. I watch Survivor and The Amazing Race and today I was able to find all the episodes on line and managed to waste the bulk of my morning and afternoon catching up on the episodes that I missed. There! I said it! Now deal with it!

Just before dinner a guest I’d been expecting popped in. Lee was probably one of the funniest and energetic Night Owls and was particularly at her best during our Mill Bay road trips. Thank god, YouTube, smart phones and digital cameras didn’t exist in those days! Lee is a trained chef and she brought me some of her roasted garlic and mushroom soup made with three heads of garlic. Those vampires from the lab don’t stand a chance now. We hadn’t had much a chance to catch up over the past few and had only reconnected recently. We had some good laughs about the old times and the new times. The coolest thing I found out in our visit was that her dad was my dentist for years. I now know from where she got her outgoing personality. Lee also got to meet Sandi. Actually, I’m actually drastically changing my mind about Sandi. She is trying so hard to deal with her dad’s illness and she is so helpful with the rest of us patients in the ward.

Denise, my night nurse, arrived and after checking my vitals gave me a good back scrubbing and changed my pillow supports and other bed linens something that should have been done yesterday. All this made me feel refreshed and ready to do battle.

After downing my evening drug cocktail, I tried to lay down for my evening slumber. After a few minutes, I began to feel a pain that felt a lot like a muscle pull radiating from the bottom of my right front ribcage into the middle of my back. I hit the call button and discussed it with Denise or actually whimpered it to Denise. Her first suspicion is some sort of urinary tract or kidney infection. When she said “I thought your pee smelled funny” it reinforced my “I never want to be a nurse” mantra. She brought me a dilaudid for the pain and propped up my right side so I ended sleeping in a contorted half sitting position on my left side.

She left with a specimen bottle which I obliging filled for her an hour later and then drifted off to sleep.

To be continued...