How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 37

...a funny thing happened to me on the way to...

Episode 37 December 6 – I had a fabulous sleep last night and was only interrupted around 6:15 by a lot of activity in the room.

Denise was back as my day nurse. It’s a bit of a truce today regarding the curtain wars because for at least one day everyone in the room is coherent and conversant. In fact, at one point last night, Catherine came and told everyone it was time it was time to shut up and then she turned the main lights off. She was like the counsellor at summer camp.

Gerry was discharged this morning after breakfast and I promised to say hi to Dad before him.  This means that I get to enjoy view of the Vancouver waterfront until they bring in a new post-op rookie later this afternoon.

The other two women in the room, Joan and Vicki Starfire (She’s a palm reader and marketing consultant so the name sort of makes sense.)  have already come to the conclusion that I have been here too long because everyone knows my name. No, it’s not Cheers and I’m not Norm. It’s bad enough that staff all know me, there’s even the sales rep from a Swedish dressing company that knows me. Even more of a coincidence, when we got to talking she remembered from my Regency Medical days in twenty years ago. I need to get out of here.

Just before lunch Denise took my glucose reading and it was down to 4.6. Also another nurse decided to come and stab me. Actually, after a discussion, Dr. Haaf and I thought it would be a good idea to get a flu shot. (Note: I do not want get into any debates regarding the flu shot or any other vaccine.)

Joan got paroled just after lunch and headed back to Whistler. I have to admire Joan; she was wise enough to time her knee replacement so she finished one golf season and should be ready to get back on the links by the spring snow melt. With Vicki out for x-rays for about thirty minutes I had the entire ward to myself.

Denise has found a way to get revenge on me for the curtains. The sling they use to lift me into the chair has loops that hook on to lift from behind my shoulders and back, two that go under my upper thighs and the final two cross under my thighs and between my legs. She always seems to get them placed just right to optimize the discomfort in the nether regions. Talk about a nutcracker!

Denise’s partner in crime for my lifts today has been Nelson. Nelson is so hard done by. He was apparently complaining all day yesterday that his girlfriend was dragging him to see Cirque du Soleil’s “Amaluna” last night. Of course, he loved it. Meanwhile, I’m sitting knowing I had a ticket for this Saturday afternoon. Nelson is so whipped that now his girlfriend is forcing to fly to Riviera Maya tomorrow. Let’s all let out a collective “Poor baby”. I hate him! ;-)

Although I did not receive any physio today, Jennifer, the senior physio did come and explain the plan for tomorrow and next. Next week I move to 90° range of motion. Tomorrow they are going to experiment again by using the overhead lift to pull up my knee instead of the students lifting them manually. I love being a guinea pig!

I must be burning a lot more calories because I am actually getting the growlies before dinner time. Speaking I had to laugh when the dinner fairy came by and the choices were ham or chicken and after I chose ham she asked if I wanted chicken or pork gravy. What the hell would be the difference? The shade of brown, perhaps?  It’s all just flour, water and fat.

A new woman,Cheryl, moved into the bed in the opposite corner, another post-op knee replacement.  She’s a bit younger than most others around here, probably in her late forties or early fifties judging by her two visitors, her son and her mother.

I did my good deed for the day. I had noticed a younger woman walking up and down the halls with her walker several times today. At around 8:30, came into my room because she saw me on my laptop. She introduced herself as Shannon and told me she was a hip replacement patient. Then asked how she could get on to the internet. When I explained how she asked if she could bring her laptop in so I could set it up. When I asked her how much longer she was in for, she told me only another day but she just wanted to check if any had sent her any messages on FB. I then told rather than waste her time and money she could just as easily log on using mine which she did. I’m such a n*** guy. Oh and by younger woman it turns out she was fifty which is terribly young in these parts.

While we’re on the subject of wireless connections, the commercial provider for the hospital is a company called Fatport, Their rates are approximately $10 per day, $20 dollars per week, $35 per month and $70 for 3 months. Doing the math based even on my minimum projected stay the 3 month package was my best bet. This evening, my service disconnected and when I tried to get back I received a message saying my time expired. Rather than spend a hour screaming at the customer service helpline, I decided to sign up for another month and deal with it later. Once back on line, I emailed customer service about my problem. Within a half hour, I saw a reply in my in box. I just expected the standard receipt note that usually reads “We have received your email and one of our representatives will respond to your request when they are in the mood”. The reply was actually quite positive; not only were they going to credit my Mastercard but the sent a code for a free month that had no expiry date on it. Of course, I’ll have to find another location that Fatport services if I ever use it. As it is now I plan that once I get out of here of coming back every day and sitting in the lobby with my laptop until my three months are up. Hey I paid for it; I’m going to use it!

Getting back to my good deed and the kind of sacrifice I made, I was in the middle of watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show when Shannon walked in. Hey, I was only watching because I couldn’t get enough of Justin Bieber at the Grey Cup. Would I lie about this? This is the internet and everyone knows you can’t lie on the internet. I know that for a fact, because I read it on the internet.

Catherine was my night nurse again. The big problem now is I’ve been spoiled having two good nurses on both shifts for two days in a row. So I celebrated with a cookie, a couple of oranges and a little biue pill and went beddy-byes.

To be continued...

 

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 36

Episode 36 – December 5 – Today marks the start of my sixth week here in Dante’s seventh circle of Hell although the surgeon counts my week based on when the surgery took place so his weeks start on Friday. Regardless around here every day is Ground Hog Day. Last night’s sleep was pretty rough with delusional woman, Inez across from me constantly yelling and the new woman in the opposite corner throwing up all night. They eventually moved Inez out into hall.

I was still up and doing my workout by 5:30 and just to make sure no was still asleep the Code Red alarm sounded and once again the call was from Evergreen. How much toast do those people eat or at least burn?!

Now would be a good time to explain the colour codes. Code Red usually means a fire or smoke detector has been activated although it could be something like a flood like what happened the first week I was there and most of the elevators were shut down for a couple of days. Code Yellow is for lost patients but that doesn’t include those that are lost in their minds. Code White means there is an unruly family member or visitor and most of you know what a Code Blue from watching medical shows on TV. You only hear them called at most once a week and I’m oblivious to them as long as I don’t hear “Code Blue, Room 621 bed 4”.

Officially, my day nurse was Denise, which is always a good thing but she handed off most of my care to Kim, the student.

The only problem I have with Denise is we have opposing views on the curtains. She likes everything wide open and I like to build my own private universe. She hasn’t realized I can reach all my now from the bed.

It being Wednesday, it meant it was “Rubber Ducky” time! Kim along with Cheryl, the nurses’ aide got a lesson on how to hose down the big guy. I know, I’ve been here way too long when all the pool nurses working up on the seventh floor knew me by name. It was such a delight to get the shower and remove the crud growing in my hair. My hair feels so fluffy and soft today although it’s beginning to look a lot like a mop.

One of the things I did notice after the shower is that not only is the skin on my feet and legs peeling like crazy, the skin on my hands and elbows is starting to do the same. I may need to rent out a sandblaster for some serious dermabrasion.

It’s a bit of a real piss off. Normally, I don’t get too many invitations to holiday parties but this week I’ve already received three and I’ve had to turn down one outright, and the other two are severe long shots that I’ll be out of here on time.

While lifting me back into bed they tried using the scale again. This time it showed me a kilo up on what the original measurement. I don’t think the damn thing works properly because even these stupid gowns hang loose on me. Even Denise who hadn’t been working on my side of the floor for a couple of weeks noticed the difference. So I’m not going by scales just by how I look and feel.

Jenny and Riza came in to abuse my knees and as always it felt great.

My siblings and cousins are going to love this story. I did something I don’t usually do and engaged in conversation with one of my roommates. One of the reasons is very I don’t besides being anti-social most have been incoherent and/or nearly deaf. Gerry in the next bed during our conversation asked my last name. When he heard it, he said “I went to elementary school with two brothers named Donnelly. Roy and ...um” I said “Ralph?” “Yes, Ralph!” “Roy happens to be my dad”. It’s a small world after all. (Lorraine will haunt me for that link.) When Gerry talked to his wife on the phone, she remembered dad as well stating “he was quite a good looking guy”. Why do I think when I ask the Old Boy about them he’ll remember the wife first?

Inez, woman across from with dementia was taken back to Inglewood and a new post-op patient has moved and appears to be coherent. This is the first every in the room has been alert enough t carry on conversations. Not sure if I like that. It makes it harder to be anti-social and hide behind my curtains.

It’s funny about the meal fairies. The lunch fairy actually found me lying on the shower stretcher to take my order and then no even saw the dinner fairy so that would mean it would be Dealer’s Choice and that leads to a lot of apprehension. Actually, they sent up braised beef tips that were okay.

Dr. Haaf came in just before dinner to see how I was doing and to discuss any concerns so I asked him about my skin peeling. He looked at my hands and elbows saw that there was no redness or other evidence of abrasion and came up with an educated medical conclusion of “Good question, let’s keep an eye on it?”

Catherine was my night nurse so it was a great improvement over a few others.

So I finally settled in with a cookie, a couple of oranges and my little blue friend.

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 35

...welcome back to my world...

Episode 35 – December 4 – The fourth of this month has always been a bittersweet day for reasons I won’t go into. Regardless things are looking better for me every day despite the screw on this morning’s breakfast. They forget my dry cereal and brought me another damn banana. At least today was an egg day so I got some chewy scrambled eggs. I supplemented breakfast with a couple of mandarin oranges.

Before leaving for the day, Barb checked my glucose levels and they were back down to 6.0 even with Pam’s shortbread last night.

My nurse today is Catherine and she has Kim from VCC helping her. Kim actually did most of the work this morning he was even given the power to dispense my goodies. I like people that dispense my goodies. I did however make sure Catherine earn her keep. (“I never want to be a nurse”)

Jane, one of the nurses working the front desk, popped into see me. This was frightening not just because she casts an imposing. She is at least my height. The scary thing is she supervises all the bed placements and discharges. The first question she had was “Now you have been here over four weeks, is that correct?” And immediately my little brain kicked and thought “Oh shit, here we go again. They’re going to tell me they’re discharging me today.” She was just confirming a good thing, my weekly Wednesday shower.

Obviously the pain meds have worn off Gerry in the next bed. Yesterday, when he came in he was talkative and very friendly with all the nurses. This morning, he was cranky and snapping at the nurses and physios about everything. He was also complaining about how he had already been here almost two full days and it would still another two days of this hell before he could go home after his hip surgery. Uh dude, I hope you’re not talking to me about your extended stay. The one neat thing about Gerry is his unique voice. His deep resonating voice reminded of Don Sage, the teacher at Temp. (“Hurry, hurry, hurry!”)

Reading The Province, I spotted an article that sounds like a great idea. Amsterdam is toying with the idea of creating “scumslums” for bad neighbours. I have the perfect candidate and I’d be willing to pay his air fare to Holland. I guess the karma rule is that when you have great neighbours like Pam and Dennis on one side you get stuck with a total shithead on the other.

Sink maintenance - Well, at least, the tap wasn’t dripping all morning. Maintenance had shut the water off to do some work on part of the floor but they still haven’t fixed that effing drip.

Just before lunch, Kim organized a team to move me into my wheelchair with me guiding the team of course. Just as I was seated, lunch arrived and it was a decent beef stew dish and a hardy bowl of cream of celery soup.

No sooner had I cleared the tray from my table and my buddy from as far back as kindergarten, Danny T walked around the corner. When Danny and I get going you know that there’s going a lot of swapping of war stories and today was no different. We spent over an hour laughing about our youthful adventures. It was fine if any heard the tales because the statute of limitations had run out on most of our crimes.

After Dan left, Catherine walked in the door and asked how I was doing. Timing is everything because I was ready to back to bed so her and Cheryl, the nurses’ aide were able to do the lift with two people.

Just as I was asking Catherine to check with physio to make sure they were coming, Jennifer, the physio, walked in with Jenny, and Riza another Capilano student. Jennifer gave them instructions and the two students set to bending my legs. What a great concept, get someone else to your exercise for you. With the new 60° protocol, I can actually feel like something is happening. Each day gets a little better.

The Iranian woman in the opposite corner was discharged this afternoon. It was funny to listen to all the nurses and other staff trying to beg off the offers from her and her family of candies and sweets. I’m actually surprised that the nurses haven’t figured out by now working in hospital in the middle of the largest Persian community in BC that it is culturally important that you accept their small offerings of gratitude. It is considered polite to say no the first time but almost an insult not to eventually take it. This is true dealing with many Middle Eastern and Asian groups. 

It didn’t long for her bed to be filled by another elderly woman brought up from the OR. This was another knee replacement patient.

And just for good measure someone burned the toast in Evergreen again. Sheesh!

The dinner fairy left me with a dilemma. Normally, it is a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils. Today was one where both items were usually okay, salmon or turkey. Turkey would have been the safer bet but I went with the salmon and it turned out fine.

Barb was again my night nurse. She always seems out of it and lacks a sense of humour.

As per last night, I capped off with two cookies, oranges, Rachel Maddow and a little blue pill.

And the damn tap is still dripping!

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 34

...it just keeps going and going...

Episode 34 – December 3 – I slept like a log last night, solidly until 6:30 and probably would have kept going for another hour if one of the other patients hadn’t cried out. While doing my morning upper body workout it dawned on me that the one good thing about being locked up is that I would never have found the time to do a couple of hundred ab crunches per day. I promise to make every effort to make the time when I get home.

Being locked up reminds of the former Canucks radio broadcaster, Jim Robson’s signature line “I’d like to say hello to all the shut-ins and those that can’t make it out to the game.” I would officially be in the former category if there was Canuck hockey but I guess these days just about everyone that can’t afford to drive a Mercedes would fit into the latter category.

Before going off shift, Natasha checked my blood sugar levels and it was a very disappointing 7.0 up from yesterday’s 5.6. Natasha thinks it could be due to the calibration of different glucometers.

This morning my day nurse is Regina. I had her a few weeks ago and she is pretty good but she can be very difficult to understand when she speaks quickly. She also had assistance from a VCC student, Kam.

While eating breakfast, Dad called. I know that sounds boring but anything happening here is less than boring. Actually, the point is that I have spoken to him more in the past four weeks than I usually speak to him in any other given year. It’s nothing personal; it’s just we both hate using the phone. We get along great.

You know you’ve been here too long, when nurses get you involved in conversations about their personal life, like Amy yesterday complaining about not being able to sleep the night before because she had a big fight with her boyfriend. It’s like being back in high school! ;-)

I have been looking forward to today for almost a week because my therapy was being upped to 60° of passive range of motion. I usually have to nag most of the early afternoon to confirm someone but to my surprise, Jennifer, a senior physio (not to be confused with Jenny, the rehab assistant or my baby girl, Jen Jen) came in before lunch and gave both knees a great work out. I could actually feel the pressure on my upper legs and in the scar tissue around the incisions but absolutely no pain. This is a good thing. I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Pam and Dennis came by just before lunch and Pam snuck me in a few of her famous shortbread cookies. Shh!! I promise not to eat them all at once. We chatted a bit about their grandkids and groused about another nasty special assessment the strata council is heaping on to us. Life is so much better when you have such wonderful neighbours like Pam and Dennis. 

Pam, today and my friend, Barb yesterday commented on how much thinner I looked particularly in the face. I noticed it myself while shaving yesterday and it seems my gut is getting smaller as well. Every cloud has a silver lining. The challenge of course will be to keep myself disciplined enough to continue this project when I get home. In addition to the weight loss, I notice my strength and flexibility improving every day.

After my physio treatment, I forgot to plug in my laptop so it was running on battery power and shut down on me in the middle of writing something. I realized immediately the problem because I have to plug and unplug it several times a day when I’m having work done on me or moving. I tried to restart it and it kept failing and I had this flashback of Costa Rica when my computer died near the end of my trip. I had all these ideas of sending the Crown Prince out to buy me a new one stat because there was I could survive here without it. I must have unplugged it again accidently when I moved the table and the laptop on the table. Phewww!!!

You know you’re lacking in entertainment when you burst out giggling when a nurse comes tell another one that there is a doctor trying to reach her on the phone and the reply is “Dr. Who?”. Hey, it ain’t Punchlines here ya gotta take your laughs when you can get ‘em! ;-)

Sweet little Jane, the VCC  student, came in around 1 PM and asked about my dressing and I told her that it was overdue for changing so she ran off to find Regina. Regina came back to check and I told her Jane wanted to do it. She was happy about that because it was one less thing for her to do. Jane returned at 2 and apologized because she thought the students were on for another hour. I promised I would hold off until tomorrow. When Regina came back to talk about changing it, I told her to wait for Jane in the morning. I’m doing my part aiding in the education of our youth.

They moved Marguerite, in the next bed, down to another floor so I was finally able to get to enjoy an unobstructed beautiful view outside of East Vancouver and Burnaby. I could see all the way to Central Park. I knew this wasn’t going to last. They moved a new guy, Gerry in at around 5. There is now a magic button machine within my arm’s reach. *insert evil laugh*

The dinner fairy arrived at a most inconvenient time because I was involved in a delicate procedure involving balance and angles. (Rhys will explain it). I had her call the choices through the curtain. It was a good thing I didn’t let her go because the choices were either meatballs or fish. Meatballs are at always passable.

I was supposed to be at The Killers concert tonight at the Coliseum with one of my favourite people. It would have been the first concert I had attended with a ticket at the Coliseum in over 30 years. I hope the Crown Prince and his friend enjoy the show. I used their tunes as my block out music tonight.

Finished the evening off with cookies and mandarin oranges.

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 33

                                                                    
...and away we go again...

Episode 33 – December 2 – Last night’s sleep was interrupted several times but by 5:30 I was awake enough that I couldn’t get back to sleep so I started my exercise routine. I was going to say that I’m getting more energetic each but today was a bit of a setback in that department. I still felt good; just tired. The only problem with having more energy is I become more bored. Before I would get tired and lie back before I ever got bored. Today was a combination where I was bored but too tired to read or write for more than a few minutes at a stretch.

Barb was my day nurse again today and under normal conditions she works quite and it didn’t help today because they were short one nurse. Also on weekends they don’t nurses’ aides working because obviously the patients don’t require any care on Saturdays and Sundays and holidays. I cannot for the life of me figure out who determines where cost cuts are most beneficial. The hypocrisy is that when the Crown Prince brought me up my mail yesterday there was a bill and two separate statements for the cost of my leg braces. This of course, is while I’m still lying in bed upstairs in their hospital. Again I repeat “IF YOU ARE NOT WEARING SCRUBS GET THE F... OUT!!”

They hoisted me up into my wheelchair before lunch and it did energize me quite a bit.

But what really energized the most was a visit from my good friend and co-worker, Barb G. She is probably one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She is that special cog in the machine that keeps our department running smoothly or at least as smooth as possible. She brought with her a new stash of mandarin oranges and a couple of lottery tickets. BTW – Barb, you must have given me someone else’s tickets. No winners here. ;-) 

We had a great chat about work and our one true mutual love, baseball.

I had forgotten a cute story about yesterday. Marguerite’s granddaughter, Elizabeth and her boyfriend were up visiting. Marguerite made a comment regarding me “I don’t how he puts up with my whining and complaining.” I just looked at Elizabeth and held up my pink ear buds. Elizabeth just burst out laughing. I also thought it was sweet that Elizabeth brought a little Christmas tree to put next to her bed.

 Mom called last night it reminded of another little thing about hospitals that bugged. Mom was asking whether my extended benefits would pay for a private room. Actually I am covered but the problem is that I need to be on the orthopaedic floor both because they have the manpower to do my transfers from the bed and as well, I need to bed in a room with an overhead lift. There are only two private rooms on the floor and they are used for isolation patients and even then only one is lift equipped. My pet peeve is what they call semi-private rooms. These are rooms with two beds. It’s actually more difficult to be anti-social in a two person room than a four bed ward. In the ward, I can curtain myself off and block out the chaos. When there is only one other person in the room you are almost forced to have conversations. And what bugs me most is that “semi-private” is an oxymoron. Private is finite. It is either private or it isn’t.

All afternoon out of habit, I have been checking the NFL scores on the Sports Illustrated ticker until I realized I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about NFL scores except to find out how the 49ers did and they lost and to a lesser degree how the Seahawks made out and they won.

So I was finally able to find enough energy to finish Anne Rule’s “Green River, Running Red” about the Green River Killer. It should have taken me a couple of days to finish it but because of my lack of energy and concentration it took me closer to two weeks. Spoiler Alert: Gary Ridgeway did it!

I have now started a new novel that my friend, Mona brought up for me; “Shantaram” by Gregory David Roberts. I have no clue what is about but I can tell you it’s long and the print is tiny. Sometimes it is great when someone gives you a book that they liked but you would have never picked up otherwise because it gets you out of a routine and usually it turns out for the good. The best example I could give was when someone lent me a copy of “The Lovely Bones” by Alice Sebold,  a genre I would have never considered. I loved it and then Lorraine read it and loved it as well. (By the way the movie blew chunks).

Natasha returned as my night nurse after being taken away the other day as my day. She is great and extremely helpful even if her obsession with serial killers is a little frightening.

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 32

...when we last left our hero he was tied to a bed...

Episode 32 – December 1 – Today was the first day of a new month and I’m more than glad to put the entire month of November behind. The one good thing about being here is I missed all the fabulous November Rain (Sorry I couldn’t resist this link.) and the forecast is for more of the same for the next week. If you remember, I did get to enjoy the lovely rain on Halloween night. ;-)

Today was also World Aids Awareness Day and hopefully there will be no need for such a day by the end of the decade.

I had another good night’s sleep and I was up at 5:30 to do my exercises and look forward to the weekend. Oh wait...weekends haven’t been meant anything to me for about five years. Actually for retired or semi-retired people weekends are a pain in the ass. Green fees are more expensive and the grocery stores are crowded. In fact my part-time work schedule usually involves weekends. Oh well, that’s the price I pay for being in showbiz. ;-)

Just before shift change both Denise and Esther who were working on the other end of the sixth floor both popped by to see how I was doing. It was already starting out to be a good day. Rosita made it better when she checked my glucose level and it was back down to 6.0.

My day nurse for the beginning of the shift was Natasha, the serial killer freak. She seemed very efficient and quite n*** but I’m not sure I was all that comfortable with her sticking a needle in my belly. Hee hee!

Barb who I spoke of in earlier episodes took over for Natasha at around 9:30. She seemed much more on the ball than the last time she looked after me.

Shortly, after 9:30, my friend, Janice dropped by with a coffee and a muffin. She was in awe of my new snakeskin boots until she realized that they were actually my own feet. She immediately gloved up and started applying lotion to my feet. They looked much better but could still use that belt sander treatment.

While reading the Vancouver Sun this I discovered two real cool stories and one vomit inducing piece of shite. We will start with the excrement. The Sun did a story on the twenty most popular charities in BC. They actually classified that conservative bullshit machine, the Fraser Institute as a charity and wrote a glowing piece of trash about it. I damn near tossed my breakfast reading it but then again that may have not been that big of a disaster.

The first good story was in all places, the business section. There was a story about the Equitable Real Estate and their foundation set up to preserve several Vancouver Heritage buildings.

The coolest story though was about the BC Archives who have in conjunction with the Mormon Church have made a number of vital statistics certificates available online. I was able to find my paternal grandparents’ marriage certificate on line. So effing sweet!

I’m getting pretty good at spotting certain Midlands accents. I questioned one of the nurses about her place of origin. She asked me to guess and I called the Liverpool/Manchester area and was on the money. It was a small town in Leicester.

I’m really getting into “The Franchise” series about the 2011 San Francisco Giants and each new episode convinces me more that Brian Wilson ain’t quite right in the head but he makes baseball so much more fun. Episode 5 was great because it was when they made the traditional visit to the White House and leading the standing ovation were Nancy Pelosi and DianeFeinstein and President Obama was presenting with an autographed #44 jersey by none other than the most famous Giant of all time, Willie Mays.

The ambulance service came and picked Anne, the 100 year old to take her back to Squamish General Hospital. Within the hour she was replaced by an Iranian woman. Oddly, people nattering away in a foreign tongue is actually less distracting than people speaking English. It becomes strictly background noise because I’m not picking up parts of the conversation.

Either I’m getting use to the heat in this room or it may be a bit cooler in here. I suspect it may be a combination of both due to the cooler wet weather outside.

I received another visit from Sandi and she sat and chatted for a bit. She was definitely in better spirits today.

The Crown Prince dropped by this afternoon to bring me my mail which after going through I promptly gave it back to him to take home with the exception of some insurance documents and such that I needed to go over. We chatted for over an about his job and several other things before left in search of some real dinner. Hey, I would have offered to share mine.( It was ham so it was not too bad) The best thing about him today is he shaved off that mediocre moustache today.

While Bryan was still there, Marguerite in the next bed called for the nurse and asked to be taken out of her chair and put back to bed. She requires the overhead lift as well. The nurse told her that it was better if she waited until after dinner because dinner was almost here. I called bullshit on that because it  was ten to five and dinner at the earliest wouldn’t be until 5:30. The last time they used that bit, Marguerite didn’t get back into bed until after the shift change at 7:30. I called as well go back to bed tand Nelson, another nurse came and tried the same line on me but I stood firm citing all the above points. He made me a deal that regardless he would promised he would have me back in bed between 5:30 and 6 when all the nurses were back from break. He held true to his word and I was back in bed at 5:30 and I made sure they got Marguerite back in bed as well. It sometimes pays to be bitchy. I should point out that dinner didn’t arrive until ten to six and we would have likely been there longer because they brought Inez in the bed across from me and a few others down back from surgery during this period so all the nursing resources were tied up with that.

My day continued rolling along on a positive note when I received an email from BC Hydro’s Powersmart program notifying me that I had qualified for a $75.00 rebate for the second year a row by reducing my electricity usage by 10%. Considering my monthly bill is only $39 that’s a decent rebate. It may be tough to do it again next year without sitting in the dark all year but I should get a headstart considering I won’t be home most of December and I won’t have my Christmas lights up at all.

It’s been awhile but the toast burner  at Evergreen struck again after dinner and another annoying code red was called. It must really piss off the firefighters having to gear up and run the trucks across the street every time this happens.

I drew another pool nurse, Ellen for the night shift. It actually appears the entire shift of nurses appears to be from the pool and there were no regular nurses working on 6 west.

But the cookies and roasted peanuts were so good! Oh, crap! I’m out of both. ;-(

At least the damn tap wasn’t dripping.

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 31

...are you still there? Okay let’s continue...

Episode 31 – November 30 – Today was the last day of November, a month I would soon love to forget seeing that I spent it entirely within in the confines of the fifth circle of hell. It also means the end to Movember and we won’t have to look at those pitiful attempts at moustaches that so many dudes have been cultivating. Regardless thanks for the efforts guys and for raising all that money for a great cause. And it’s not too late to donate either. Here’s the Crown Prince’s MoSpace page. Just Click Here.

My sleep last night was a repeat of the night before so I am refreshed and re-energized. The problem with increase energy levels is that I get more bored than tired during the day.

Layla came by before going off shift to check my glucose levels and it was a disappointing 6.6. This is the highest reading I’ve had for the three weeks. Hopefully, it is just an anomaly.

Again I drew another nurse from the open pool, Ka Ming or Kam. He’s quite efficient and helpful.

One of the positions that I find very relaxing is to hold onto the overhead triangle above my bed and tilt my head over to one side and stare blankly off into space with my mouth open. I do this almost unconsciously. I think I startled a nurse this morning while she was working at the sink and saw me in the mirror. She turned around looking for a noose. Oops, my bad!

They put me in the wheelchair just before lunch. While there I had quite a conversation with Collette across from me and her daughter. They were just waiting for clearance to check out. The irony is that while I have to wait a few more weeks to get; I will be mobile when I leave while she is going to bedridden for the most part for at least two months at home with a broken hip. At least she timed her injury well as far as her business goes. She owns the gelato stand at the Tsawwassen ferry terminal. We had a giggle because she is one of the few people that loves overbooked ferries and breakdowns and hates hourly sailing schedules. People need to kill time while waiting and then they get out of their cars and shop and buy gelato. This is definitely, a case of clouds having silver linings.

Dr. Haaf came by and for once there wasn’t much for me to bitch about. He had already made sure my physio schedule was still intact.  The one thing on the chart he was concerned about was that my hemoglobin levels were a bit. The funny thing is he couldn’t figure out why there had been so many tests and who ordered them and why no one else questioned it. Communication is such an overrated concept.

After about two hours in the chair, I had Kam gather up some bodies to for the ride back to bed. One of the team was another nurse, Natasha. Natasha was a bit frightening. After seeing my book about the Green River Killer, she went on about several other serial killers dating back as far as Charles Manson. She knew way too much about the topic for a young lady in her twenties. My guess is this would be a first date warning sign.

After Natasha left, the guy that visits Anne, the 100 year old in the other corner came over and chatted while Anne got her physio. He overheard Natasha and asked if I was into true crime stories of which I’m not usually. But chatted more and he seems to be an interesting fellow. He’s a retired curator of the North Vancouver Museum which is obviously loaded with items for the shipbuilding industry which were primarily from the Burrard Dry Dock where by coincidence is where Lorraine worked after leaving school until it closed in the late 70’s. This gent may be retired but he’s still quite active teaching a design course last summer and putting together an exhibit for the Scandinavian Cultural Society on Scandinavian modern design in 2014. Regardless, he still talks too loud when he’s visiting Anne. Today’s block out music is some Cactus, a band with roots as far back as 1969, which a co-worker, DK, loaded on to my laptop a couple of years ago. 

Jenny, the Cap U student, showed up to apply the physio terrorism to my knees. Obviously they trust her because they let her do it on her own. She’s going to need help next week because we up the ante to 60° of range of motion. The knees are feeling great and that’s a good thing.

After four, they brought another woman in to fill Collette’s bed. This one is another pre-op hip fracture at least in her eighties and hard of hearing as well. She is another screamer and whiner, so the earbuds are going to be filling my ear canals almost 100% of the time. Hopefully, when she returns from surgery tonight or tomorrow, she’ll have calmed down. This may be a two blue pill night.

This afternoon, the vampires sent up one of their human slaves to steal a snack off me. This time it was to check my iron levels to figure out what was going on with my hemoglobin.

I missed the dinner fairy again tonight, so they sent up the baked fish. At least this time it was edible.

Sandi, my former cellmate, Art’s daughter, popped her head in the door on her way to see her dad in the isolation unit. The long struggle is starting to take a toll on her and had to vent her frustrations about all the problems with her siblings who for the past ten years have had nothing to do with her and her dad. She said she’d drop by tomorrow in better and put some lotion on my feet which are beginning to resemble shedding reptiles with scaly dry skin hanging everywhere. They could probably use a scouring with a belt sander before any lotion.

Rosita was back as my night nurse so all is good.

Speaking of good the cookies and the peanuts are still tasty!

But the damn tap is still dripping.

To be continued...