How I Spent My "Fall" Vacation - Epilogue

And then what happened?...

This morning, March 1, four months after my injury. I will be returning to work.

I think would be a good time to put *How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation* finally to rest and tell you about my return home and the progress I have made in my recovery.

Going back to Episode 73, you all know I checked out of the hospital and arrived home at my townhouse on the afternoon of January 11.

Aided by my wonderful neighbours, Pam and Dennis, we were able to set up my bathroom with aids that I would be required for my day to day living. When I say “aided” I really mean they did all the work while I hobbled around the house.

After they left, it was time for me to take a shower in my own home, in my own bathroom. This was the only time I used the bath seat I had purchased as an actual chair. I discovered the hardest part was getting back up from the seat. After that I found it was easier just to stand in the shower and used the back of the chair as a bit of a support. I made a point of using all the hot water in the tank in that first shower. It was the first time in over three months that I felt almost clean. It would take a couple of more days for my hair to get that soft and squeaky clean feeling back.

After the shower, it was time for dinner. I had now escaped the disgusting hospital menu and the tyranny of hospital dietician. What did I do? I ordered a pizza, of course! It was extraordinarily delicious that day. I vowed that for today nothing existed and my recovery would begin tomorrow.

You may remember that two of my immediate goals upon release were get the mop on the top of my head under control and to get the claws growing at the end of  my feet back to normal. I made an appointment for Tuesday for the hair and my dear friend, Allana, hauled me off to her aesthetician for a mani/pedi the following Sunday. I finally felt human again with my short cropped locks and pink, sparkly nails. BTW - Tanya, thanks for the offer! :-)

My recovery and rebuilding could be split up into three separate components; physical, mental and emotional.

The physical component is the easiest to deal with. The biggest hurdle I had is that there are thirteen steps leading from the main floor of the townhouse to my bedroom and bathroom and the same number from the main floor to the basement and laundry room. To start with, I always required my cane and the hand rail; taking one stair at a time moving my left foot up then bringing my right up to the same stair and using the opposite going down. I’m still using this slow method most of the time although I rarely use the cane. Also, carrying anything was extremely difficult. I could only take a small weight each trip; carrying it in a small shopping bag. This has gotten a lot easier now because I have at least one free hand especially going upstairs.

One ordeal I still have is getting my laundry baskets up and down the stairs. Luckily, I have more than most other straight guys have even though there are an inordinate number of pink and purple golf shirts. At least this means I don’t have to do laundry that frequently.

The other most difficult thing I have had to conquer is getting up from a seated position. I overcame this originally by stealing the cushion from one armchair and doubling it up on the other as well I had three throw cushions stacked up on my dining room chairs. Getting up from the bed was a little easier because the mattress already sits high but I originally required the cane as a brace.

Speaking of braces, I threw the left leg brace in the closet the day I got home and have not worn the right brace at all for at least two weeks.

I still use my cane when I am walking any distances outside and it comes in handy as a sympathy tool.

I am still going back to the hospital as an outpatient for physiotherapy twice a week where, Leslie, my physio beats me up pretty good each day and each day I can do more. My left knee is almost at fighting strength while my right still has quite a way to go. The highlight last week was when Leslie got me on the mini-trampoline and had me jogging on the spot. This brought me joy because it gives me hope that I will be able to run again. This is important to me because running the trails below my house clears my head and I get best writing ideas cruising along side the creek. This is good news (or maybe it’s bad news) for you my loyal readers because I will find more things to blog about.

On top of my lower body rehab, I’m going to have a few other health issues to deal with now that I’m out. I lost a lot of weight while inside and I will have to continue my struggle to keep it off and burn a few more pounds off as well. I will now have to also work on keeping my blood sugar under control with the aid of exercise, diet and medication. The third issue is a little more complex. It was discovered while in the hospital is that I have a vitamin B12 deficiency and could lead to anemia. I’m treating this right now with supplements and may eventually be forced to eat more beef. This does not get me that excited because beef and I don’t get along that well. I’d rather have a slab of salmon than a juicy steak.

The mental component struck me shortly after getting out of the shower when I saw the huge pile of mail sitting on the dining room table and realizing the place had needed a thorough cleaning even before I went into the hospital. There were also all kinds of regular maintenance that needed to be done around the house. I spent a lot of time tossing  and turning in bed that first night thinking about all the things that needed to be done.

Waking up the next morning, I realized that I would just have to take everything in baby steps doing just a little bit at a time. This was the same approach I was taking physically. Once I realized that my anxiety levels dropped quickly. I worked at dealing with all the paperwork a few minutes per hour and then resting rather than tackling it all at once. I took this approach with cleaning up the place as well. There is still a lot of work to do around but I’ve now taken the attitude of looking after myself first and worry about the house later.

One big mental block that has come up and still occurs is the idea of standing up. As I said before this is one of the most difficult physical things I have to do. There is also a mental component because every time I get ready to stand up I know there is going to be some pain so sometimes I have position myself and then I will think about what I’m going to do for several seconds and occasionally it will run in to minutes. I’m still having some of these difficulties.

The emotional component has become a little more complicated. Several of you know that awhile back, someone special had walked into my life or rather limped into my life. (Actually you could even say she rolled in if you include the gurney she arrived on into room 621) This would have been the purveyor of the “...er...um...sparkling apple juice” on New Year’s Eve that I told you about in episode 62. She was there to understand and share all those simple small victories and feel the pain from the setbacks as well. She made the tough seven weeks that I had been home so much easier to deal with and she had made me happier than I had been in many years. The storybook ending would have been her becoming Version 3.0 and we ride off into the sunset. Sadly, the “happily ever after” isn’t there at least for now. She felt that she had some emotional healing to do on her own and that I wouldn’t be able to help her along the way. I cannot bear her any ill will because she is a beautiful woman inside and out and she made me extremely happy for that tiny sliver of my life. I can only hope she can resolve her issues and she finds peace. Perhaps she’ll realize her happiness was right in front of her all along and that would be n***. Regardless, I know she knows at least she will always have a loving friend in me. Thank you, C, for a few weeks of happiness; you will always own a piece of my heart.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of the day here in the Magic Kingdom...Oh crap, wrong theme park! ;-)

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 73

Episode 73 – January 11 - I have almost run out of  things to write about and even things to repeat writing for the fifth or sixth time so today I thought I’d start with something different.

First I would like to send my thoughts and prayers out to Sergio’s family, friends and co-workers who succumbed to cancer last month. I was perhaps a bit harsh on him when he was my nurse but he probably should not have tried to return to work when he did. I was shocked to hear how he was actually a few years younger than me. The disease had obviously made him appear so much older.

I have to thank all the nurses on 6 West especially Denise, Layla, Esther and Kevin. All the nurses on 5 East especially Katha, Via and Maria. All my physios, Jennifer, Adrienne, Lisa (x2), Leanne and Amanda.

Thank you to Dr. Dana Haaf for his support and even thanks to Dr.McConkey because even if he lacked bedside skills he did a great job putting the big guy back together. And Dr. Brown the anaesthesiologist for administering the right combination of goodies the ease me through the surgery.

Thank you to everyone who dropped in to visit and or call. With very special thanks to Pam, Dennis and Bryan (aka the Crown Prince).

My three worst days here were October 31 the day of my injury, November 2 when i had the anxiety attack just before surgery and December 19 when they moved me into 623 and I had my worst anxiety attack.

My favourite three days in chronological order were December 21 when I first walked, New Year’s Eve (see Episode 62) to figure out why and the third would be ...um...did I happen to mention I am posting this from home. :-)

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 72

Episode 72 – January 10 – Last night’s sleep was not my greatest, I kept waking and having to shift my legs because they were a bit stiff.

This morning started off quite well. Both nurses on the floor, Maria and Via were excited to come in and tell me that Dr. McConkey had given the okay to weight bear with the braces off. I won’t the real significance of this until I’m done with the physios today. I still think I may need to wear the right one and use a cane for a bit. However, I did celebrate by walking into the bathroom to brush my teeth sans any braces or walking aids then taking a quick lap around the unit with the walker and no  braces. I felt naked and cold but damn good. It was another silly grin type of walk.

The braces are the answer to Leslie and Lorraine’s reason for questioning my sanity the other day about exercising at 5:30 AM. If I have to strap on the frigging things to get up and pee, I may as well accomplish a few more things while I’m tied up. Now questioning my sanity for a whole bunch of other things would be completely justified.

I have turned my trusty reacher over to my roomie, Dale. I don’t really need one anymore especially when I don’t have to worry about standing up to get things on the other side of the room.

Dale is a couple of years older than me but like me, he also lost his wife to cancer about five years ago. He’s lead an interesting life working as a set carpenter on several major film productions including Romeo and Juliet in Mexico City. He’s only been here at the hospital for five weeks now but I can see his stay eventually being longer than mine in total but at least most of it will be spent on the rehab unit. He developed an abscess on his upper spine after lifting a heavy box on set. Many of his symptoms mimic those of a quadriplegic  but he is now able to stand and walk using a standard frame walker but still has a lot of numbness in his lower body. His ultimate prognosis is a lot more questionable than mine. That is one more reason I saying there are so many people out there much worse off than me. I will likely have some permanent damage but not enough to restrict me from doing most things. Dale will likely also inherit my window seat when I leave if his doctor gets her way just for his mental well being.

My physio, Leanne, came in and she tested me out without the braces in the room and there was no problem. We then went downstairs to work more on the stairs. This time we worked with the braces and a cane and again all went well.

It was great just being able to walk into the dining room at lunch time with bare legs although I did have to use the walker.

My afternoon physio session consisted of working more stairs with just a cane and the brace on my right leg. We were working on the regular hospital stairs going up  and down a flight of eleven stairs with Leanne and another physio, Deborah,  following me up and then walking backwards with their hands as I came down the stairs. At the bottom we had to rest  mainly because neither of them could stop laughing when I asked “ just what do you guys plan on doing if I fall forward?  I know I’m going to have a soft landing.” Everything went well; so I’m allowed to either walk around the unit with either bare legs and the walker or the cane and one brace. I’ll be opting for the cane because that’s what I’ll be doing at home. In the room, I can walk bare legged with the cane.

So another routine close to an evening with Rachel and the little blue pill.

Too be continued...

How I Spent My "Fall" Vacation - Episode 71

Episode 71 – January 9 – Well today begins the eleventh week of my involuntary vacation and the beginning of week number 2 in the rehab unit. I’m still waiting to hear from the moron, Dr. McConkey. Apparently the concept of dealing directly with his patients is beneath him. Everyone knows that a doctor knows more about your body than you after all they went to school for a bunch of years. Some of them seem to think that those extra years of memorizing textbooks gives them a deity status.

We have Maria again as our nurse and she’s great but a little hard to understand when speaks fast.

It’s the charge nurse today, Kathleen, I can’t stand. She’s only here part time and I believe she’s semi-retired. She is a total bitch and needs to go completely. When you hear the phrases “I liked it better when...” and “The changed the format...” you know you don’t belong. I wanted to tell that I was still pissed that Plymouths no longer have tail fins either. Then she chastised two staff members for not staggering their breaks and she had to do some work while they were gone. That would be her job to make sure breaks are organized. Okay lady, you’re a lousy manager, a miserable person so get the eff out! I will give her credit she is very good at the front desk talking about her grandchildren.

My first physio session went great. Rather than wheel me down; Amanda asked if I wanted to try walking down. (Via elevator of course). We started off with a few warm up exercises on the stairs before actually walking up and down the stairs using only one handrail which simulates the condition at home. Then we moved across the hall to do more quad work on the shuttle machine. And the best part of this is that my favourite ex-cellmate and new found friend, Cheryl got to witness all this. Cheryl was there for her outpatient therapy. Sorry, Cheryl I forgot to bring to bring the...er...um...sparkling apple juice. But don’t worry there will be many other chances.

I doubled down on great friends today. When I got back to the room, my former classmate, Janice was waiting with a big bowl of homemade soup. It was delicious and filling. The only bad thing about it, I missed out on the tuna sandwich from my usual lunch. Damn, I may have to wait a whole two or three days until they bring us another one. Janice also volunteered to put her old lifeguard skills and help out with some water therapy at one of the local pools.

Amanda put me through a good workout in my afternoon first on the bike, then the shuttle and finally more stairs. For the first time I was actually tired by the time I was back in the room. As a reward for abusing me I shared with her my not-so-vast knowledge of Palm Springs recommending at least one restaurant and a few other things. Like me, PS was not on her radar until someone offered her husband use of their condo in La Quinta next month.

Speaking of travel, I figured I’d ask my nurse, Maria, about Columbia, because I was originally thinking about going to Cartagena. Good thing I didn’t book early for once. She sang high praises about the area. It has both the natural beauty of the Caribbean and a lot of history. I did as her what part of the country and she said Calli and by coincidence the care aide working today, Karen was from Medellin. I would likely leave both those cities off my itinerary.

Hopefully, I will have enough time between being reasonably fit enough to get around and having to return to work for a little getaway to recharge the batteries. I immediately ruled San Francisco or Vegas as destinations at this time because my knees would hate me if I sentenced them to those hills in SF and I know I wouldn’t be able to relax enough in Las Vegas. A week or two by the pool in Mexico or even Palm Springs may be in the offing. We shall see.

The other day, Dale and I made a pact regarding meals, if the dinner fairy appeared while one of us was out of the room we’d order for each other. Simple rule: everything trumps the fish, order chicken only when fish is the other option and jump all over the salmon whenever it’s available.

Dr. McConkey finally resurfaced at dinner time and I impressed him when I stood up in the dining room and stood and talked to him without any support. It looks like he’s going to let the physios work me without the braces and possibly lose the left brace altogether.

As per custom my night was capped with Rachel Maddow, a orange and one of Pam’s delightful chocolate goodies and a dash of Zopiclone.

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 70

 Episode 70 – January 8 – Today is the 45^th  anniversary of the opening of the Pacific Coliseum. Growing up a block away, I watched this ultra-modern grow up each day as it was being built and I’ve spent 36 years working in this building. When it was less than 30 years some “very wise men” particularly in the sports writing field deemed this building to be old and obsolete and a bigger and shinier new arena. I guess none of these “wise men” had ever been to Europe. How many of you live in a house built over 30 years ago and find it old and obsolete? Does anybody see the irony in the fact that this obsolete building was completed in 1968 and the newest secondary school in Vancouver was built in 1962.

By coincidence, my friend, Nancy, posted a report today on FB about the new arena being built in Lincoln, Nebraska which her husband is helping construct working on the high steel. I am happy for Lincoln and even happier that this is a union project. Nancy, Shane would be proud that the bridge I take to work every day is named in honour of his union brothers who perished during its construction, The Ironworkers Memorial Bridge.

Yesterday, I opened by speaking of focusing on two things. The first being the Notre Dame football game which turned out to be a disappointment but I was still happy for the team; they made all Irish fans proud for a remarkable season with only a small blemish on its record.

The other focal point of my day was making progress on the stairs. If you read my journal yesterday you would know I wasn’t too pleased with that either. I didn’t feel much more confident this morning when I found one of the physios on the floor was off sick.

I had another tantrum that began with the OT,  bringing in what they called a heavy duty commode/shower chair that was huge. Any first year physics student could tell you that it was actually structurally less sound than the regular weight unit which by the way worked fine when I had my shower on Sunday.  Ironically, it reminded me of the bridge collapse I was referring ti above. She made the error that they were just trying to be cautious and then went into the “if you lived on one floor” bullshit that I’d be out of here. It’s the stairs in your townhouse that are the problem. This is when I went ballistic. They weren’t even challenging me. How could they know if I can or cannot do stairs without even trying? I still want to talk to that idiot surgeon. If he doesn’t want to cooperate sign himself off the case and assign someone that knows something about patient care rather than just anatomy.

I even implied if something isn’t done soon, I would be walking out of here on my own because I would be getting the same treatment or more at home.

Well the squeaky wheel does get the grease. Sabina talked to the physio, Amanda, and because of it Amanda agreed to try me out on the shallow stair set they have in the outpatient clinic. Well, I tried it out with no problem up and down several times. She then asked me if I wanted to try the set of regular stairs today and I did and conquered those just as easily. The only problem I had was remembering rather than alternating feet I have to take one step at a time. Left leading going up and right leading going down.

The second physio session in the afternoon built upon this morning’s session doing more quad strengthening exercises and more stairs. We ignored the low stairs and went straight to the regular ones. Amanda did want to try walking without the braces but the idiot...er...I mean surgeon had specific instructions on the chart that the braces must be on when weight bearing and the effing clown is nowhere to be found.

One problem with the rehab unit is it is obviously meant as a stopping off place for elderly patients before moving to or back to an independent care facility and not really geared for relatively healthy people my age. Dale and I are the only patients under 80. Believe me there is nothing therapeutic about eating your meals with a room full of elderly sick people.

Joanne was my night again. And I had to laugh when she heard who my surgeon was and said “I met Dr. McConkey when I was working downstairs and I have to say I liked his father better.” She had worked with the senior McConkey at UBC Hospital. The elder surgeon started the UBC Sports Medicine Clinic along with Jack Taunton and Doug Clement. I have never met his father but I already like him better.

It was a standard finish to evening, a fist full of delicious pills, an orange, a chocolate goodie while watching the Big Bang Theory and Rachel Maddow.

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 69

Episode 69 – January 7 – My mind today was focused on two things, the Notre Dame – Alabama Championship Game and the desire to attack the stairs. The first could bring some temporary joy and the second absolute ecstacy.

Last night’s sleep was the same as the night before but I was much more alert in the morning and I was up doing my exercises at 5:30. Of course, if I hadn’t made another decision based on pride over convenience, I may have been able to sleep a little longer. I have decided to forgo the urinal bottle altogether even if it means tying myself into the braces in the middle of the night.

Katha is back is as my day nurse and she’s always fun. The thing is that on this unit, your nurse isn’t as critical on this unit where you are no longer totally dependent on them. I can do most things for myself. However, they still get cranky when I help myself to the meds cabinet. Nurses can be so picky!

Fatport, the wireless provider for the hospital was still working on correcting my billing issue but they have provided me with another access code so I can maintain my online presence while they correct it.

My first physio session was scheduled for 11 but Amanda was running late but at least I was informed of the situation. The problem is that I have to suit up with my braces then sit and wait. This is a lot like when you get dressed up for dinner and then you end up sitting waiting for your partner to finish getting ready. It always seems like hours. She arrived at 11:30 and took me downstairs to the main physio department where we basically repeated a lot of the exercises we worked on last Friday with Leanne on the parallel bars with a few more repetitions. She showed up for my 2 PM session and did more of the same plus some work on the shuttle machine where I did some horizontal squats. I keep asking to take to the next level but we keep going over the stuff I can do already. At this rate I’m never getting out of here. Let’s kick it up a notch. Hopefully I got my message through to Amanda. Stop babying me and start challenging me.

The options today for lunch were a chicken salad sandwich or meatloaf. I chose the meatloaf. Well, when I lifted the cover I couldn’t believe the amount. There were two huge slices of meatloaf and two mountains of mashed potatoes. The old guy, sitting beside me, eyes just about popped out of his head. There wasn’t a square centimetre of empty plate. On top of that they sent up two salads. However, they did send up another packet of French dressing for the fourth day in a row. Does anyone actually like French dressing? I ended leaving those giant mounds of spuds alone and I hate leaving stuff on my plate. The nurse that was responsible for increase in my portions saw the plate and even she thought it was way too much. The portion of shepherd’s pie at dinner was more reasonable. And there was no French dressing either.

They did some more bed shifting with my first roommate, Mona and sent her upstairs to neurological floor where Dale came from while she waited for more surgery on her degenerated disc. The nerve block the tried didn’t take. She was in terrible pain all the time she was on this floor; so I hope all will work out for her. I know she appreciated my short little visits to her room. She wasn’t exactly popular with the nurses because she wasn’t really into the whole program and in many ways I can see why. The unit is designed primarily for geriatric patients to get them back to their care homes and independent living facilities. I don’t really fit in here either.

I received another surprise visit from a former classmate, Ray. I’ve know Ray since elementary school. He grew up one block over from us. He happened to be over on the North Shore to quote on a roofing job so he thought he’d just drop by. We chatted awhile about his business and a lot of other things while I relaxed on the bed letting my legs cool off without the braces between therapy sessions. Thanks again for dropping by Ray.

After my afternoon therapy session, I took it easy caught up on my writing and even drifted off a little.

My plan to get to the TV after dinner, worked. Those old people eat so slow so I just ate at a normal pace and hurried down to the lounge and the remote was mine. Unfortunately, my Fighting Irish  were not as cooperative going down 28-0 at the half so I headed back to my room. However it was worth listening to those self-entitled old men and ladies grumble that the News Hour wasn’t on. Look it’s 6:15 so the actual news has been over for at five minutes and don’t worry Mike McCardle will do the same sickening sweet story at the end of tomorrow’s news just with different characters in a different location.

Okay so my favourite lost tonight and they lost big. I think Notre Dame fans everywhere are proud of the Irish. They won all twelve regular season games during a season they were not even picked to finish in the top 25 and they ended second best in the nation losing to the odds on favourite to repeat as national champions. The team was led by one more ND legend in the making, Manti Te’o who overcame personal tragedies this season and became the best defensive player in American college football. Notre Dame student-athletes are students first and athletes second unlike many of the football factories in the south.

Now back to the hospital, my nurse tonight, Joanne, is another part timer from paediatrics and even she couldn’t figure what I was doing here when she saw me walking around the unit. I told her the magic word “stairs” and she sighed. But one knows if I can do them or not because the physios are afraid to overstep the surgeon and he’s nowhere to be found. Surgeons should leave the healthcare to healthcare professionals and stick to cutting and sewing.

And so to bed.

To be continued...

How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation – Episode 68

Episode 68 – January 6 – Today is Epiphany, the twelfth day of Christmas and the last my tree would be up and my lights burning outside. Oh well at least my Hydro bill should be way down.

My sleep last night was quite weird. Obviously the Zopiclone and Benadryl combination were working in full force. I’d be sleeping on my right side and wake up to turn over to my left; I’d get as far as lying on my back and automatically flop back to my right. I repeated this process several times with the same result, I think, or I may have just dreamed up the whole thing. Either way I had a great sleep and even had a hard time waking up.

When I was able to clear my head enough I began my exercise regime including the homework Leanne. This included working my legs using Theraband. For those of you not familiar with Theraband it is lengths of latex sheeting available in various thicknesses and used for resistance exercising. Some others of you may be familiar with it for its original use, dental damming. Yes, that nasty sheeting they shoved in your mouth and then clamped around the tooth about to be filled. (Lee, I believe your dad may have shoved a few pieces in my mouth in the past). The real neat thing about new Theraband is the smell from the powder used to keep it from sticking together. It smells like cookies and mint. I reached to get it out of my drawer and I thought to myself “Wow, I can smell Pam’s goodies through the Tupperware”. Pam’s goodies do smell great but it was the Theraband. Another boring fact about Theraband is that I along with a couple of other salespeople at Ammunden Medical we responsible for introducing it to physiotherapists in BC. (Sorry, Lisa, but as much as I hate giving that man credit for anything; I have to give you dad most of the credit for this.)

Maria is our nurse today. She worked on the sixth quite often when I was there but she seemed to be missing during the time Graciela was in our ward. Maria would have been quite useful being from Columbia.

For the past two days, they have brought whole apples on my breakfast tray. Although I don’t mind them; I don’t normally eat whole apples for a couple of reasons. The first is just me being wierd; I get turned off by bruising on any fruit and in particular apples. The second is more of an orthodontic reason. I have a very distinct overbite and huge gaps between my front teeth and my bottom teeth are jammed together. Rather than bite I sort of scoop and break off with my bottom teeth and my uppers play no part. This is the same reason, I rarely eat corn on the cob and when I do I usually peel the kernels off with a knife.

Today was my shower day. Because of my mobility restrictions, I still require assistance even though I could do it myself. At least this time I walked into the shower room on my own. I am still required to use the braces and the walker so Pacita, the care aide had to assist me and I had to sit while showering. I could have easily done it on my own but the risk was greater than the reward.

After the shower, I was finally going to get to wear fresh clothes with a fresh clean body. I put on a purple striped golf shirt and a pair of black basketball shorts with red stripes down the legs. Colour coordination be damned! The fashionistas can kiss this! Besides it’s the shoes that make the outfit but we’ll discuss them in a few paragraphs later. While putting on the shorts it didn’t dawn on me initially but I was standing on my feet without braces and there was no real problem.

While I was strapping on my braces, Dr. LeNoble, the doctor in charge of the rehab unit came into visit and did a full check on my flexibility and my senses such as sight , sound and feel. He asked me if there was anything they can do that they haven’t been doing. I told him the same as I’ve told everyone. Keep pushing me to do more so we can find out what I can’t do rather than concentrating on repeating what I can do. He at least made a note of this. He also remarked that my toenails need to re-done. No kidding!

One more thing about the doctor; he was checking my lungs with the stethoscope on my back and told me to take deep breaths which I complied. Then he wanted check from the front and said “Okay you can stop breathing” and once again I complied. In a slightly panicked voice “I didn’t mean for you to stop breathing completely!” Dude, I’m just following orders.

I actually discovered another little flexibility victory by accident. When I completed strapping on my braces I realized I hadn’t put my shoes on. I was able to get them on and tie them up while still strapped in. I had a hard enough time doing this before my injury. My fancy Puma Clydes with the roses are almost as admired as my toenails. Unfortunately I can’t show off both at once. (see photo below)

Because there is nothing going on here on the weekends, I thought today would be a good day to pop up and visit Six West. Bad idea!! I stepped off the elevator and turned right towards the orthopaedic unit and I was greeted by a big whiteboard saying “Gastro-intestinal Outbreak” with further instructions underneath. I stuck my head inside the door to see if I recognized anyone but I only saw Ruby who was too busy with a patient and the little Iranian cleaning lady, Parvin, who was delighted to see me up, dressed and walking. I made a hasty retreat to elevators. I ran into Maeve, the OT and she was shocked at my progress. She also told me that I had made it out just in time. The outbreak started just after I left. The thought of still being there bedridden was frightening. I would have still been on bedpan orders at that point as well. All I know is that if it kicks in down here I will not be worrying about strapping on the braces as I make a mad dash to the bathroom. I may even leave the walker behind.

 Just before getting on the elevator, Liz, one of the charge nurses, walked by and did a double-take. She was shocked to see my progress and she also did not realize how tall I was. I keep getting that about my height but I’m only 6’3”.

I spent most of the afternoon in my room writing and listening to the Seahawks game because the TV in the lounge had already been taken over  by a couple of people watching one of those home renovation shows. I have a plan for commandeering the TV for tomorrow’s Notre Dame championship game. I was somehow only able to find today’s game on a station from Juneau Alaska. The funniest thing about that was one commercial for Stihl logging equipment which finished with the tagline “A majority of Stihl products are built in the US with domestic and foreign parts.” Could we get any vaguer? Have we covered our asses on the American Made thing.

Now there is something about the Sunday edition of the Province that always puts in a mood to rant. Today it was a two page spread  in the entertainment section with the bold headline “Do Album Reviews Still Matter?” Did they ever matter? Has there ever been a need for music, movie or art critics? Critics are a self created profession not unlike lawyers who created a need for themselves. Most critics are either frustrated musicians, actors etc. or mediocre writers who can’t get off the lifestyles desk.

My roommate, Dale’s dad, Jack, is a hoot. After visiting with Dale for a bit he left his wife and daughter and came around the curtain to chat with me and then he headed out into the hallway to chat with everyone else. This is his daily routine. He’s just a social butterfly.

Best advice today came from Via my night nurse for the last three nights after a discussion about what I might need at home, “Oh and try not to do it again!” Sounds like an excellent plan.

I’m still having a few billing problems with Fatport my wireless. It showed that my account expired again after two months but I paid for three. Last month they gave me a code for an extra month so I had to put that into play.

After finishing up my notes, I took my happy pills, orange and goodies and drifted off.

To be continued...