How I Spent My “Fall” Vacation Episodes 1 and 2

My intent here is to document my trials and tribulations resulting from my little ordeal on Halloween night. This blog entry is going to be somewhat different than my regular (or more like irregular) submissions. They will still have touches of irreverent humour but rather than a one short story it will be growing journal with new entries being added hopefully every day. I say hopefully because the stress and the medications severely affect my levels of energy and concentration. 

Episode 1 - October 31- As most of my irregular readers know Halloween is has been an event around our Premier Street mansioncomplex for more than twenty years. I had just completed my somewhat minimal decorating including my jack-o-lantern tribute to the World Series Champion San Francisco Giants and now I was prepping dinner before the arrival of the hordes of extorting yard apes. I had some Italian sausages grilling on the Weber on the patio outside in the pouring rain. The timer went off notifying me to turn the bangers. I put on my aging black flip flips with the built bottle opener. I stepped onto the first of two wooden steps leading from the townhouse living room to the patio deck. Whether my feet ever found the second step who knows? I remember shooting forward into the glass table and rolling to my right knocking the barbecue on rollers at least six feet.

A few seconds later, I tried to stand and my thighs responded with a shooting pain and no ability to lift.

I eventually managed to schooch up into a sitting position on the top stair in front of the open door. I sat there pondering my next while being soaked by the rain, staring at my left flip flop pinned under one of the table legs. After another attempt to stand with the same result, I knew I may have a problem. After more rain-soaked contemplation, I laid onto my back half in and half out of the house. I gradually slithered across the floor where I kept my cell phone and reached up blindly to grab it from the side table. I scrolled through the menu to the number of my next door neighbour, Pam. I touched “call” and after a couple of rings, Pam answered but she could not hear me. Unfortunately, the one place I keep my phone because it is where I normally sit watching TV happens to have a weird dead spot. I then made a few attempts to turn the side table to reach my land line phone. After a few misfires in attempting to copy the digits from one phone to the other, I finally managed to call Pam. She arrived quickly and immediately called 911. In the meantime her husband, Dennis (Yes, there are lots of us around) came and Pam instructed him to make sure the BBQ was turned off and then go out and watch for the emergency vehicles.

The paramedics arrived about 20 minutes later and began poking and prodding. They then tried standing me and kept telling me “use your good leg”. “Dude, there is no good leg!” Finally they decided it would be best to put me on a gurney and transport to the Emergency Room. I was so disappointed that no one gave me “500 mils of Ringer’s Lactate, 1000 mils of D5W or even bothered to call Dixie.” Sheesh!

When we arrived at Lion’s Gate Hospital, I was wheeled into Triage and transferred onto an ER stretcher and stuck into a curtained cubicle and left me to stare at the ceiling. About 20 minutes later, the paramedic came back and wheeled into another section “First Aid” and stuck me in another room. In the mean time, Pam arrived with a pair of shoes and a jacket in anticipation of a quick return home. How wrong were we!

After at least an hour, the doctor, the same guy who I’d seen doing paper work at his desk for the last half hour pops his head in the door does a quick poke and prod and says “perhaps we should get an x-ray” and leaves. Good call, Doc! I’m so glad we subsidized seven years of education on you!

About half an hour later the x-ray technician shows confirms that I’m the guy he’s looking for and says he’ll be back in a minute. An hour later someone else shows up to transport me to xray.

In xray they shuffle me onto transfer sling and then lift me up on an electric hoist and twirl me around onto the xray table. The technician then decides to manipulate my legs into positions incapable of a icircus contortionist and has the nerve to say “stay absolutely still” meanwhile I’m screaming in pain and this guy is absolutely oblivious to this and continues on. After a half hour of agony he announces were finished and the flying trapeze routine is reversed.

Another hour goes by before a nurse drops by and tells that no bones are broken so I’ll have to wait until the morning for an ultrasound.

I’m then told to get comfortable and go to sleep. Excellent suggestion! And how do you expect me to do that?

 Sleeping would have been a wonderful idea. Now remember I was working on dinner which meant I hadn’t eaten since noon and wasn’t allowed food or drink because surgery was imminent. They were gracious enough to give an IV drip to rehydrate me and stick an oxygen tube in my nostrils. That should make it so much easier to sleep especially with severe pain, and lying on a hard stretcher staring at the ceiling.

I’m not sure if it was just because it was Halloween but the ER was full of zombies; people in hospital scrubs, stethoscopes, official looking ID badges and other medical paraphernalia wandering around blank faced taking extreme care never to make direct eye contact with a patient.

Hey and guess when they choose to use the automatic floor scrubbers in the ER?

Now what was it the nurse told me to do? Oh yeah! “Get comfortable and go to sleep”.

Episode 2 - November 1- After the above described peaceful, I was wheeled into the ultrasound diagnostics lab. Lying in the waiting area, it dawned on me that I should ask about my friend since kindergarten, Ray who had been ultrasound tech there for years. Turned he had just recently left for another gig. Damn! I could have used a friendly face!

I was wheeled into the exam room and the adventure begins. I must admit ultrasound beats x-ray hands down and no piles fifty pounds of lead on your junk and tells you it is completely safe. Great you’ve saved my nuts from radiation but you just crushed them into pudding with that damn apron. No actually, if think about it ultrasound is pretty sensual. The tech applies a cool gel and then gently strokes your thighs with a wand. (pause for indecent thought ...and I’m back)

After about ten minutes, the tech excuses himself then brings back the radiologist and a med student to examine the scan. It’s a little disconcerting when see wincing and hear oo’s and ouches coming from the doctors. As they got ready to wheel me back, I asked what the diagnosis was and I got the standard “You’re surgeon will speak to you”.

Back in the ER for another couple of hours when another nurse appears and says to me “you need to get someone to bring up your BiPAP machine” (Hey, you’re on the internet look it up!)

Obviously this means I’m in for another night, so I call Pam and ask her to bring up the unit as well as my phone charger.

About fifteen minutes later a nurse shows up with a food tray which I question because I’m on “no food or drink order” pending surgery. She takes the tray away then comes back a couple of minutes later with the tray and tells me the doctor ordered it. Even being without food or drink I was only able stomach about a third of it. The entree I believe was boneless breast of chickenish stuff.

A few minutes later, my GP, Dana Haaf, arrives with two med students, sees the tray and says “I guess they couldn’t squeeze the operation in today.” He then explains how quad muscle on right leg is 90% torn away and the left is only about 40% torn away. They will both have to be re-attached surgically and the drops the bomb. “You will be spending about six weeks here...but they have a very open airy facility.”

Pam and Dennis arrived with the machine, charger and some toiletries and I broke the news that they would have to continue to pick up my mail for a bit longer than expected. Pam was still trying to contact the Crown Prince who was out of town at a conference.

I then started to make a bunch of phone calls and send out urgent texts for a number of people to call me back ASAP.

Around 4, the hospital porters arrived to tell me that they were moving me upstairs to a surgical bed.

I was transferred into what felt like a cloud after 24 hours on the ER stretcher. Dinner was served shortly after. I couldn’t remember what it was but I know I didn’t even touch half of it.

It was here in the room that I began to perfect my skills of peeing into a cardboard bottle. It was much trickier with the little man playing hide and seek; after all his two sidekicks had already been crushed to pudding in x-ray.

The surgeon came by to explain the procedure and the near future. By this time I was so overwhelmed, I couldn’t talk and just wanted to cry.

His last bit of advice was “try and relax and get a good sleep” because the surgery was scheduled for 9:30 the next morning.

I was soon to discover that two of my ward mates were suffering from medication related dementia.

The gentleman across from me decided to have an all night argument with an imaginary friend and the lady next to him kept climbing out of bed and setting off the saying she needed to get home to feed her cats who apparently were being looked after by the guy in the next bed’s friend.

I kept telling myself “It gets better...it gets better”

Now what was the advice the surgeon gave me?

To be continued....

Journey to the Big Ditch

Before we go any further into this mish-mash of  random thoughts on the isthmus of Panama, I want to point one very important point when shopping for Panamanian souvenirs; an authentic Panama hat should have the following phrase stamped on the inside head band “Hecho en Ecuador”.  ;-)

Obviously the most noteable thing about this tiny country that divides North and South America is the Panama Canal. Built almost one hundred years ago, this engineering miracle is still something to behold. I was able to enjoy the sight and operation of this man made marvel in several different ways from multiple points of view.

My first view of the canal was from the Bridge of the Americas leading into Panama City. On the right, you see the huge queue of ships and small pleasure boats in the Bay of Panama waiting to pass through the locks to the Atlantic side the following day. That same day, we went the Mira Flores Locks Visitor Centre where we were able to view a large cruise ship drop down into the final lock before reaching the Pacific and watch a massive Swedish auto carrier pass by the four storey viewing platform where you were almost eye to eye with the captain and pilot on the bridge. Watching the locks fill and empty and the gates open and close will put any physics or engineering geek into nerd Nirvana. Completed in 1914, the canal operates on simple hydraulic principles practised  by the ancient Greeks, Chinese and Romans and even likely pre-historic men and women. Water flows down hill. I was able to view the canal system from a few other angles. First via a boat tour of Gatun Lake; the man made body of water that at one point destroyed the ecological balance of the Chagris River system when the canal was first dug but we able to see how Mother Nature’s restorative powers by creating a new ecosystem where both the world economy and nature can live together. On another day, I was able to view the entire route from Colon on the Caribbean to Panama City while sipping rum and cokes in the antique dining car of the Panama Canal Railway. That same day we were viewed the Gatun Lock system that leads into the Atlantic waterways.
By far my favourite prospective on the canal was a boat trip from the mouth of the Chagris through Gatun Lake and into the Pedro Miguel and Mira Flores Locks, the Pacific side of the six lock system. The boat we travelled on was a delight in itself. The Islamadora is an all wooden yacht built in 1904 for the banker, J.P. Morgan and was later purchased by Al Capone to transport rum from Habana to Miami during Prohibition and was subsequently owned by movie stars, Steve McQueen and James Colburn. On top of the marvelous construction and fabulous history, the other great thing about the Islamadora was its size. Only about the size of a medium harbour tug, it was diminutive even when compared to the other ferries that took tour groups through the locks. This small craft gave me such a spectacular perspective of the magnitude of the locks and how fast the chambers filled and emptied and how the boat just seemed to drop down along the wood line walls of the lock. The most amazing view occurred as we were about to pass through the last gate into Panama Bay, I turned to my right and one the auto carriers I spoke of earlier was just entering the channel beside us.  Being thirty feet below its waterline and the ship being almost six storeys high and four hundred feet long, it brought to mind Pinocchio and Gepetto about to be swallowed by Monstro, the whale. By coincidence, I was able to view the Islamadora passing into the Caribbean Sea the day we visited the Gatun Locks. 

The capital, Panama City is in itself a dichotomy of old and new. The architecture ranges from 17^th century forts to ultra-modern skyscrapers mimicking those of petro-rich cities like Dubai. The downtown business district has been totally rebuilt after the Americans turned the canal zone back over to the Panamanian people and subsequently destroyed by the Americans when American President George Bush ordered the overthrow of the dictator, General Manuel Noriega, ironically put into place under the orders of then CIA Director, George Bush. Hmm, I wonder if they might be related. ;-)
Not far from downtown is the Old City, which is a UNESCO World Heritage restoration site which is a joint project of the Panamanian government, the private sector and UNESCO. Residences, businesses and churches are being refinished and brought back to their eighteenth century beauty combining the country’s Spanish, French, Columbian and Caribbean architecture.
Panama City is the home to offices of at least 147 international banks most of in which you or I would not be welcome. This is the benefit of being able to hold the world transportation system hostage by being the only game in town. The Panama Canal only deals in cash for passage and does not offer credit terms.
Colon, the second largest city in Panama and the Atlantic side terminus for the canal is quite the opposite of Panama City. Despite being the home to the world’s largest Free Trade Zone (Think of a giant Costco for major international wholesalers) which is an even bigger cash stream for Panama than the canal, the city is rife with poverty, crime and unemployment. This is not say that in any way does it compare with other Latin American countries like Nicaragua basically due to Panama’s education system where everyone is given opportunities. There is a direct correlation between literacy and poverty where education increases poverty decreases.

My second favourite day trip was a motorized canoe trip up the Chagris River to Parara Puru to an Enbera indigenous village. We were able to see the lifestyle one of the aboriginal groups who were partially displaced when the Chagris was dammed to form Gatun Lake for the canal. The Enbera continue to live a very simple life and in some ways primitive but they are also able to embrace certain amounts of technology such as motors for their canoes and cell phones for emergencies. They are able to take advantage of Panama’s modern healthcare and education systems while still maintaining most aspects of their customs and heritage. I think the Enbera people enhance the theory that keeping it simple breeds contentment.

Cristo Negro

Golden Altar

Like all Latin American countries, the Roman Catholic Church has taken a major role both historically and currently in this country. I am not going to delve into the political or religious arguments in favour or against the church but as a lover of architecture and art the RCs take the cake. Anyone who toured Europe or Latin America has stuck their head into a Roman Catholic cathedral and witnessed some jaw dropping sculptures, structures and paintings. Panama was no different. The two most striking icons I saw were the Golden Altar in the Iglesia de San Juan in the Old Panama City district and the Cristo Negro in the Iglesia de San Felip in Portobello outside Colon. The Golden Altar is a massive altar carved from ironwood and covered in 18 carat gold leaf. The other outstanding feature is that the carvings on the altar are not of the RC icons but of symbols relating to the natural wonders of Panama and some important indigenous icons. The church is also home to four other beautiful altars that were originally meant to go into other churches in the city but were never installed for many political and military reasons. The Cristo Negro is a statue of Jesus that portrays him as black. This icon was originally considered blasphemous and banished but after years of coincidences (considered miracles) the archbishop finally allowed it to be placed in the church. The statue is dressed in different coloured ornate robes relating to the Catholic calendar. It is considered an honour to donate a robe to the church and many Panamanian sports stars like boxer, Roberto Duran and New York Yankee reliever, Mariano Rivero have their contributions on display in the Museo del Cristo Negro next door to the church. However my favourite church I stumbled across was located in Fallon, the village adjoining our resort. The Capilla Virgen del Carmen is a quaint little church painted a golden yellow with exterior pillars embedded with seashells that reflected in the sun with their mother-of-pearl inner linings. It should be noted that Catholicism is not only religion represented in Panama. Panama has become a very multicultural country and is home to one of the most important Baha’i temples outside of Iran and there is a huge mosque in the Free Trade Zone in Colon.



Noriega's Villa

I managed to book a room at one of the largest resorts in Panama, the Royal Decameron located in Fallon about one hundred kilometres southwest of Panama City where Panama Bay merges into the Pacific Ocean. Now, most people when they here “ocean view resort on the Pacific Ocean” immediately think of beautiful sunsets over the sea. Wrong-o! The isthmus of Panama is S-shaped and runs west to east, between Panama City and Fallon, the sunrises over the Pacific side and sets on the Atlantic/Carribean side. This makes for some confusion if you are at all directionally challenged. The Decameron has a bit of an interesting history as well. It was originally an American military base. Because obvious required upgrading to make it into a resort you don’t immediately see the connection but when you go down to the beach and look back up at all the small buildings you can see the basic design of military barracks all over the world. Of course, I can imagine a young private being on the same beach looking out to the ocean and thinking “Well, I guess there are worse postings in this army.” The resort also shares the beach with a number of large viilas including one previously owned by General Noriega. It’s easy to pick out. It’s the one where US Navy gun boats did some serious renovating with 50 mils. The local Panamanians completed the redecorating job by looting the mansion of all its furnishings.
As cuisine goes Panama is famous for its plethora of seafood. The adage “give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you will feed for life” definitely applies. Hey, even I caught a tilapia in Gatun Lake! Being a lover of shellfish I was in heaven.  As far as food goes in this country there are only two rules to remember.  First, unless you plan on re-soling your shoes stay away from Panamanian beef. And even more important, never offer a Panamanian a banana; he is more than likely to strangle you because these fruits are so plentiful and grow everywhere they have been force fed bananas from their first solids as a baby to mashed plantains on their deathbed. ;-)

I started off this rambling mess clarifying the hat myth but I still can’t figure the second one, what the heck is Van Halen singing about?

Thank you and enjoy the rest of the day here in the Magic Kingdom...Oh crap, wrong theme park! ;-)

But It’s a Dry 110°!!

Coachella Valley

It has been said that only mad dogs and Englishmen go out into the noonday sun. If you include the Celtic regions of the British Isles among the latter, my beautiful niece, Jennifer and I qualify in that category. I won’t include Molly in the former because she just got dragged along for the insane ride.

The title of this piece is not totally tongue-in-cheek. There is a major difference between dry desert heat and even the moderately humid climate of Vancouver. The weekend before leaving I had spent three days working at a music festival in mid 20°C (in the 70°s F) and I was baking and sweating out water faster than I could put it back in. I didn’t really have this problem in Palm Desert where the high temperatures ranged from 105 to 110°F (40 to 45°C). No doubt, I felt the heat but not where I was extremely uncomfortable. Of course, I didn’t have the help of a swimming pool and raspberry mojitos at the festival.

Palm Springs and even more so Palm Springs in the middle of summer has never been on my list of travel destination musts but I was pleasantly surprised by my experience. When Jen invited me to join her, I originally tried to come up with all kinds of excuses why not to go but it quickly dawned on me that there was nothing holding me in town and I would get to spend some quality time with a very special person. And of course, I was finally going to meet Molly.

I am sure you could easily guess, July is not part of the high season in Palm Springs. That would during the fall, winter and early spring months where the temperatures are a bit cooler but a great escape from the dreariness of climes. To say that summer is the low season would be an understatement. In car crazy Southern California, six lane main streets have virtually no traffic and street parking is available everywhere.

I love the bleakness of the desert probably because it is so different than the temperate rain forest with which I had grown up. I don’t love it enough to live there but a week works for me.

Although you could just book a hotel room most regular visitors to PS will rent out a condominium or townhouse usually on one of the many golf courses. We did this and for the most part our complex was deserted and we enjoyed having two pools within twenty metres of our patio. The only real downside was the lawn area behind was home to several fire ant colonies. I seemed to come out of  that relatively unscathed; unfortunately Jen didn’t fare so well.

I enjoyed our little sortie to downtown Palm Springs for the Thursday night Village Festival where the main street is closed to traffic and local artisans and food vendors hock their wares. Molly of course, stole the show. She was a hit with Canada maple leaf t-shirt. The stores along the main drag are an eclectic assortment of funky boutiques, restaurants and bars. And where else can you find a 26 foot statue of Marilyn Monroe portraying her memorable subway grate scene from “The Seven Year Itch” .

One of the disadvantages of visiting the Coachella Valley in the summer is that not everything is running at full speed. The Sunday Street Fair at the College of the Desert is only open from 7 AM to noon because it just gets too darn hot. Also only a fraction of vendors are at the market compared to the high season. The short hours ring true for The Living Desert, the zoo on the outskirts of town. As far as zoos go it was one of the better ones I’ve been to and if you go on a week day during the spring and fall you can visit the animal hospital and watch each of the residents get their annual physicals and other treatments through glass viewing windows in the treatment rooms. Of course the most important thing to remember during the day is don’t walk barefoot and don’t touch anything metal. This would be one of several reasons that a lot of people there use doggie strollers and/or doggie booties.

The good thing about going in the summer is that there is no traffic and you can just walk into any restaurant without a reservation when you need to book a week in advance during the fall. Jen, I’m sorry I lied but I didn’t really book the whole of Tommy Bahama’s just for you. Hey, get over it! It’s not the first time a guy lied to you and won’t be the last! Hee hee!

Besides a lot of golf, there are many things to do in PS. Shopping is probably the number one sport there with shops geared to all budgets. There is huge array of excellent restaurants everywhere and several casinos on the edge of town if you so desire. However the best thing about Palm Springs is it is a great place to do absolutely nothing.

If you were to ask me what the best thing about my trip the answer is obvious. I was able to make up for a small part of thirty lost years with a beautiful young lady swapping stories and secrets until the wee hours of the morning. I do have to add meeting and falling in love with the divine Miss Molly comes in a close second.

Would I return to Palm Springs? I would most certainly with the right travel buddy and I would love to visit the area in the high season although I may be barred from going there at certain times in the fall. ;-)

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day here in the Magic Kingdom. Oh crap, wrong theme park! ;-)

Faster, Higher, Stronger

Papa Smurf Vancouver

Tommy Smith and John Carlos
 Mexico 1968

Today marks the official opening day of the London Olympics. I have to admit I am an Olympics junkie, both the Summer and Winter Games.  This would be pretty obvious to any of my Facebook friends who followed the Attack of theSmurfs during the 2010 Winter Games in Vancouver. We all have our favourite Olympic memories of amazing  athletic endeavors but today I want to write about my personal encounters with Olympians past and present and I want to encourage you to add your own personal stories about Olympians you have known or have met in your own journeys.

The first future Olympian I ever met in my life was Bob Lenarduzzi, who representing Canada at the 1984 Los Angeles Games in soccer and currently the president of the Vancouver Whitecaps FC. Bobby grew up with the rest of us miscreants on Dundas Street and attended school and church together. That’s Bobby two over on my left in our First Communion group photo at Our Lady of Sorrows Church in 1961. (I’m not sure why Mom marked an X over my picture; maybe she thought I may have problems recognizing my cute smile.)

Daryl Sturdy and Friend

When I transferred to a public school (Hastings Elementary) after spending four years in exile at Our Lady of Sorrows being taught by nuns, I met my first male teacher and first current Olympian, Daryl Sturdy who represented Canada as a rower at the Mexico City Games in 1968. As a teacher, Daryl had a profound influence on me by encouraging my writing and reinforcing my love of reading. Daryl introduced me to “The Hobbit” primarily to occupy my time because I was so far ahead of my classmates in math and language arts due to the nuns somewhat interesting ways of making one learn the basics. I am still proud to call Daryl a friend and the picture is of him and me at a recent high school reunion. It pisses me off that Daryl looks so much better than me and he’s almost twenty years older. ;-)

Greg Joy - Montreal 1976

During my senior year in high school, our Community Recreation class travelled two miles south to play a friendly handball game against our local rivals, Vancouver Tech. Because I was the tallest in our group, I was the likely candidate to take part in a basketball style jump off to start the game. My Tech counterpart was Greg Joy, the current BC high school high jump champion. (I believe Greg still holds some provincial and national age group records.) Greg and I were the exact same height and build and in fact we looked more like brothers than my brother, Pat and me. However despite these similarities, needless to say Greg out jumped me by almost two feet. Two years later, I remember sitting in Version 1.0’s family living room cheering Greg on to a silver medal at the Montreal Olympics.

Lori Fung & Hugh Fisher
1984

In 1984, as an employee of the PNE, I was given the honour of driving the guests of honour in the annual parade. The honourees that year were several BC medallists from the Los Angeles games. I was the luckiest of all the drivers leading the parade with my passengers; the sweetheart of the Olympics, Lori Fung, gold medallist in rhythmic gymnastics and gold medal canoeist, Hugh Fisher. (If you squint really hard you can see my big nose through the windshield.) This was the first and only time I got to hold a true Olympic medal. (I did hold a sample gold medal at the Royal Canadian Mint pavilion at the 2010 games.) During the parade, I’m sure I gave the CBC producers fits when Lori said she wanted a balloon and I brought the entire parade to a halt to call a vendor over and bought Lori one seconds before I was supposed to pass the broadcast reviewing stand.

Charles Hamelin and Marianne St. Gelais
Vancouver 2010

As a lead up to the 2010 Olympics, the Pacific Coliseum hosted the Canadian Short Track Speed Skating team’s annual training camps in the summer and fall of 2008 and 2009. I was lucky enough to work closely with the team members during these events. I witnessed a few dozen young adults experiencing the pure joy of sport. No one with the exclusion of one “Dancing with the Stars” competitor is ever going to get rich as a short track speed skater. These athletes were so loose and so much fun while competing intensely for twelve places on Canada’s team. It brought me to tears of elation and pride watching as several of the skaters won medals for our country.

John Naber Montreal 1976

In addition to all those previous adventures about the 2010 games I have shared with many of you, I have to share a story that truly defines humility. While waiting in the security line at the curling venue, a gentleman wearing a USA jacket standing in front of me with his family noticed the pins on my jacket and asked about making a few trades which did. In our conversation, he mentioned something about swimming a bit in college. I asked him which university and he replied Southern Cal. Knowing that USC had one of the best swimming programs I was impressed. About two weeks later the light when on in my tiny little brain and I realized who this fellow was. His name was John Naber and yes, he did swim a little in college but he neglected to mention that he won four gold medals and set world records for the USA in Montreal in 1976. I would definitely say this might define the word, humble. :-)

Charmaine Crooks

If you were to ask me who of all the Olympians I’ve had met was my favourite I couldn’t say but I have to include Charmaine Crooks, Canadian silver medallist in Athletics at the 1984 Los Angeles Games. My first encounter with Charmaine was again while working at the Coliseum. She was there attending an organizing meeting for the Vancouver games and I found her with this lost look on her face. I had seen this look before and was able to direct her to the nearest washroom. Every time I ran into after that she would make a point of going out her way to give me a big hug. For those who have met Charmaine you will know she is not only a very sweet person but is pretty damn easy on the eyes. ;-)

In closing, I am now asking all of you to add your personal encounters with the Olympians you have met.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day here in the Magic Kingdom.  Oh crap, wrong theme park! ;-)

Road Trip!!!!!



Clarabelle with her Valet

 One of my favourite phrases in the English language is “Road Trip!” I just happen to like going places whether it’s to an exotic tropical paradise or a short two or three day out of town with Clarabelle. I am now going to proceed to bore you with some of my likes and dislikes about travelling.
In previous postings I have told you about a few of my adventures to Costa Rica, San Francisco and Cuba so I won’t go into much detail about these places again.

Lorraine in San Francisco

Up until recently with the exception of a few jaunts to Las Vegas , I did all of my traveling with someone else; either with family or one or two road trip buddies. Now that I am at least temporarily on my own, I’ve taken to exploring new and old places on my own. I must it admit it takes a little bit of courage to “fly solo” but there are some advantages to it. I am able to choose where and when I want to go.  I am able to go on excursions that maybe I only want to do and when I want to do. However the best thing about travelling alone is one tends to meet more people from other parts of the globe because you are forced to communicate outside your own comfort zone. The biggest bonus of course is to you, my potential travel companion. You are not stuck travelling with me; I can be the tour guide from hell because I want to see everything and I want to see it now plus there have been a few rumours that I snore. ;-) That being said there really is no better thing than discovering new places with someone else. Two places that I have no current intentions of returning to again alone are San Francisco and Cuba especially Habana because these locations are just meant to be shared. There are also a few new locales I don’t have plans on visiting alone for the same reason; Paris in particular comes to mind.

Automobile road trips are always a treat. It’s fun just to jump into Clarabelle and head out to a “not so exotic” locale. One of my favourite short haul destinations is Portland, Oregon, my second favourite US city; after all what more can one say about a city that has an unofficial motto “Keep Portland Weird”. This is a city that embraces its working class heritage. When you go into a restaurant or bar and see what appears to be antique furnishings you know they really are antique furnishings. Portland is also known for having the largest number per capita in North America of microbreweries and strip clubs; not that a good Catholic school boy like me would frequent either such establishment. ;-) Portland also has Voo Doo Doughnuts!!!
Another road trip favourite is Vancouver Island which is another world unto itself. The island pace is much more laid back than Vancouver. I’m sure anyone from Toronto or Montreal would go nuts trying to deal with this casual lifestyle. Road trips were the only thing I ever enjoyed about working for an employer I absolutely hated. At least four times a year I was sent out on sales calls throughout BC and got to enjoy the beauty places like the Kootenays, and the north central part of the province. Everyone should drive through the Rockies at least once.  And while we are talking about “just once” road trips, everyone should drive the Pacific Coast Highway between San Francicsco and Los Angeles at least once and only once. I highly recommend you do it in November where the powers that be add frost and fog to the curves and hills. ;-)
I am not one for roughing it when it comes to travel. Even when I was younger, I was not a fan of camping. I enjoy the outdoors and cooking over an open flame but my downfall comes when it is time to retire for the night. Having had a sleep disorder for most of my life settling down in a tent is most unpleasant. If you think I snore loudly in a comfortable warm hotel bed, you ought to hear me sleeping on the hard ground. I heard it described as a wart hog mating with a chainsaw! I prefer to stay in hotels with a minimum four star rating. My idea of roughing it now is when room service closes before midnight. Yes, I am a “Princess” and proud of it.
However, just because I like my creature comforts does not mean I plan to stay and soak up the sun by the pool while sipping a fruity cocktail. When I go places, I like to explore the country or city I am in and take a few risks but only to a limit on the adventurous risks, after look at the title of this blog.
One of the things I try to do especially in southern climes is to learn a little of the language. This shows the natives some respect and they appreciate your efforts even if they would ultimately want to learn English so they can get a better job in the tourist industry. I get totally peed off at a certain group of people from a certain country that expect servers to be completely fluent in English. Of course, these are the same people that chow down on burgers and fries rather than the local cuisine.
What don’t I like about travelling? Well the big thing I’m not fond of is flying. Not because I’m have a fear crashing or am claustrophobic but for some more realistic reasons. First off, one has to waste time getting to the airport ridiculously early for your flight so you can go through a pointless security system that is totally ineffective and only in place so the government can justify spending ridiculous amounts of money to look like they are actually doing something about safety and security and to give the masses that “warm and fuzzy” feeling that nothing bad will happen to them. The other problem I have with flying is that I am of above average size and height so I am usually wedged into a seat. I need an aisle seat so I can get a little bit of extension in my knees. Of course, I always seem to get stuck behind recliner guy as well so it’s even worse. Lately, I have been flying to my tropical destinations via Air Transat and they have a reasonably priced upgrade to their “Club Class” that provides added seat width and leg space as well as several other amenities. I find this a much better upgrade for your money than the more popular resort package upgrade to an ocean view room which by the way you can quite often get for free just by asking politely at the front desk.

Jakub and Yolanda from Czech Republic

What do I like best about traveling? Besides seeing amazing sights and doing crazy things, I would have to say it is meeting new people and making new friends even if it is only for a brief period of times all the people you meet permanently become a part of you.
Given an infinite amount of time and money, I would travel just about everywhere and return to all those places I loved. I won’t go into the very few places I wasn’t happy visiting.
Next stop Panama and the big ditch!! I promise I’ll post about a little quicker than Costa Rica. :-)
Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day here in the Magic Kingdom. Oh crap, wrong theme park! ;-)

¡Pura Vida!

¡Pura Vida!

My last adventure to southern climes was to the tiny country of Costa Rica. “¡Pura Vida!” or “The Pure Life!” is the standard toast you hear throughout the land.

Being a lifelong British Columbian, I have been spoiled by the natural beauty of my home and did not think anything could rival it. I was wrong;  Costa Rica could be considered as being on equal terms as my home province when it comes to natural beauty. In fact, travelling on busses through the different provinces of Costa Rica reminded me a lot of a road trip through BC. There are areas reminiscent of the Okanagan Valley, the rain forest and the east coast of Vancouver Island. And being such a small country you can see all the changes in vistas in a matter of hours.

As per the name of this blog, I am one to be a tad adventurous but at the same time a wee bit cautious. I am not one to “rough it” it or venture out too far on my own so I did stay in an “all-inclusive” resort near Liberia in the north eastern province of Guanacoste and all my trips outside the resort were on guided excursions. That being said some of these excursions did involve me going outside my comfort zones.  The horseback ride I went on was not your ordinary tourist friendly walk through relatively flat well cleared trail; it was a trek up a steep mountainside and down a rocky creek bed on narrow paths that the guide had to continuously re-clear with the aid of his machete.  I also managed to climb up and down a 150 foot ridge in the dark to view a Pacific Green Turtle burying her eggs in the sand on the beach and crawl back into the ocean. Although standing around for an hour and a half watching some large dinosaur like creature slowly move her fins back and forth seemed a bit boring; it was probably the most exhilarating thing I did during the two weeks in Costa Rica. Very few people ever get to witness this natural process in person.

However, I should tell you that my “safety scissors” side took over when it came to zip lining even though this form of forest/jungle canopy transportation first became popular in Costa Rica long before all other places. I just did not feel comfortable with idea for two good reasons; no one could assure me it was safe for someone of my height and weight and the fact that I have a bit of a phobia when it comes to descending. (I can climb up a ladder without out fear but on at least one occasion I’ve had to have been talked down a ladder, one step at a time.)

Tobacan Hot Springs

None of the other excursions I took were disappointing and I would highly recommend all of them. The first tour was to the Arenal volcano northwest of Liberia where we toured Lake Arenal by boat viewing the countless species of birds as well as a few caimans patiently floating around waiting for some unaware fowl to become their lunch. Unfortunately we were unable to get a good view of the volcano because of the rain and fog. Then again one does have to concede such inconveniences when one is in a rainforest. But our disappointment was soon forgotten with a visit to the Tobacan Hot Springs and spent the afternoon luxuriating in the pools heated by Arenal. However it can be it bit disconcerting when notices are posted throughout the resort telling guests what to do in case of a volcanic eruption.

The Monteverde Cloud Forest is probably the best place to experience the vegetation of the tropical rainforest. By forgoing what is described as one of the best zip line adventures, I was most fortunate to receive a private tour of the reptile refuge and the butterfly pavilion as well as the hummingbird sanctuary at Selvatura Park while everyone else was buzzing down wires above. After everyone saw the forest canopy as a blur of green, we all set out to walk along a series of fifteen suspension bridges where one can view the fauna from high above. All the plants in the canopy were so oversized you would have thought you were in a 1960’s Sci-Fi film. I would love to see the size of the 1980’s cocktail lounge that could fit even one of the ferns!

Sergio

The trip to Palo Verde National Park and cruise up the Tempisque River was simply amazing. We were lead by a guide, Sergio that introduced us to countless birds, monkeys, lizards and a few crocodiles. Sergio was a fascinating character. His is primarily a biologist and environmentalist has conducted several other studies for the Costa Rican government and others that may have embarrassed the government.  He has lived in the rainforest on his own to collect data on monkey and bird colonies and produced several documentaries including two with Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter. He also is one of the primary teachers of tour guides in Costa Rica. Basically anything about the country’s wildlife that Sergio didn’t know hasn’t been written yet and in fact he probably wrote a lot of it himself.

Granada

I travelled north on a day excursion to Nicaragua. While both are naturally beautiful the contrasts between these two neighbouring countries outweigh the similarities. Costa Rica has a literacy rate in the nineties and most students attend some sort of post-secondary institution, the literacy rate in Nicaragua is about 38%. This dissimilarity is reflected inversely in each countries’ poverty rate. However Nicaragua and more precisely Granada wins out in architecture. Granada is the oldest Spanish city in Central America and reminded much of Habana. Costa Rica does not have the long history of many of its neighbouring countries.

The people of Costa Rica, commonly referred as Ticos, are bit more reserved than their cousins in places like Cuba and Mexico where everyone is your amigo. None the less the Ticos are just are warm and generous. Also the language is a bit different in Costa Rica. Ticos speak a much more formal version of Spanish similar to that which is traditionally spoken in Madrid and they tend to speak it much faster so those like myself trained in “Spanglish” have a more difficult time. However key phrases like “¡ dos mojitos por favour!” and “¿Donde est el bano?” still work. :-)

While I didn’t do it myself, travelling unguided through the country is relatively. It is not uncommon to rent a car and drive to several places mentioned above. However, driving at night is not recommended. Costa Rican roads are notoriously in bad repair and directional signs are confusing if and when they do exist.

Close encounters with Costa Rican wildlife is not restricted to the jungles and rainforests mentioned above, the resorts are teeming with birds, howler and Capuchin monkeys, coatis (tropical raccoons) and huge iguanas that casually stroll around the grounds.

I look forward to returning to this paradise soon.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day here in the Magic Kingdom. Oh crap, wrong theme park! ;-)

Getting The Deal Done

Before I get into the details of the actual tentative deal, I would like to say a few things about collective bargaining and negotiating in general.

Collective bargaining will always begin with both sides making what the other side would consider outrageous and completely unacceptable proposals. These are there just to test the waters and usually quickly dismissed or at least set aside to be trashed later. Other less “outrageous” proposals are also tabled merely as warning to the other party that even though it may not be acceptable now assume that it is not going away and will be brought up again in the next round of bargaining. A collective agreement is a living agreement that evolves over several rounds of negotiations not a document that is contrived today and remains in one form forever.

Once this “pissing contest” is put aside both parties get down to brass tacks and hammer out a deal. Collective bargaining is not like bartering for a blanket on the beach in Puerto Vallarta where you try and get the best price and then both parties walk away never to see each other again. Both parties in collective bargaining have it as being in their best interest to come out with the most workable deal for both sides.

In any type of negotiations there are four possible outcomes: win/win, win/lose, lose/lose and neutral. The ultimate goal would be win/win but a more achievable goal would be neutral. A win/lose or lose/lose outcome is toxic because you have at least one very unhappy party and will lead to a toxic workplace.  With regard to our deal, I would put it into the neutral category.

One of the best tools a party can use in contract bargaining is the use of professional negotiators because they will take the personality aspects out of the equation and keep everyone’s eyes on the ultimate goal of a mutually satisfactory agreement. Our bargaining unit was grateful for the efforts of CUPE national rep, Dave Fleming assisted by CUPE 1004 agent, Steve Varty and 1004 president, Mike Jackson. The PNE was also lucky to have an equally competent negotiator in John Thorne.

Before I get into the actual details of the deal I would like to point out one thing. During the process it became apparent to our committee that the Pacific National Exhibition truly is in financial difficulties at least for the time being. As with all problem-solving there is no benefit in casting blame. Once the problem is identified there are only three questions that need to be answered. How did it happen? How do we solve it? And how do we stop it from happening again? This will always lead to a collective effort moving forward. Hopefully this will happen at the PNE.

 Now on with the deal highlights in general:

-          Wage increases of 1.5% per year effective January 1, 2011, January 1, 2012 and January 1, 2013 and will be retroactive for all current employees and any 2011 retirees.

-          A new joint committee will be set up to review all contracting out on the PNE site. The ultimate goal is to increase the amount of work our members do on site and will likely lead to more cost effective solutions for the employer.

-          A fairer scheduling system for full time Playland employees

-          A two percent increase in the “in lieu” pay for Playland seasonal employees with seniority

Items effecting part-time Public Safety employees:

-          Qualified part-time employees will eligible to join the pension plan. This will be a great benefit because the employer contributes to your plan as well and will help reduce your taxes while you save.

-          All public safety personnel carrying a security license will have their license fee reimbursed provided they work at 200 hours in the previous year.

-          Rate upgrades by seniority will now be in the contract. Up until now there was no contractual onus on the employer to do so.

-          The ability for PNE security personnel to work at Playland provided the Playland roster has been exhausted.

My biggest regret in this round of bargaining was not being able to get a better deal for the lowest paid Playland workers who next season will be getting a wage only marginally better than the provincial minimum wage.

Am I elated with this deal? No.... Is it a good deal? Only time will tell....Do I think it is the best deal we could get at this time? Yes.

For this reason I am recommending a “Yes” vote when it comes up for ratification in the next weeks. It is your right to vote “No” on the deal but before you do so please consider the consequences and what your next step will be.

In closing I would like to thank the above mentioned Mssrs. Fleming, Varty, Jackson and Thorne as well as the other members of our committee of Rob Froescher, Ron Flanders, Dion Bellay, Gary White, Paul McGraw and Aaron Martinello and the PNE management committee of Stacy Shields, Jeff Strickland, Meredith Holmes, Rob Crema, June Goudron and Heather Beckley for all the time and energy everyone put into making this happen. (Hopefully, we will see a few females on our side of the table next round.) 

  Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day here in the Magic Kingdom. Oh crap, wrong theme park! ;-)