Hi Teach...Hi Pupe!

For those of you too young to recognize or like a lot of us, too old to remember the literary reference in the title it comes from the late sixties novel “Up the Down Staircase” by Bel Kaufman chronicling the woes of a new teacher struggling through the frustrations of the public school system’s bureaucracy.
This being the first week of the school year for a lot of students and educators, I thought it would be n*** to salute one of the two most underappreciated professions, teachers and also add my humble musings on education in general.
I take pride in calling so many of you life-long friends. And on my Facebook list there are several more of these beautiful dedicated people both currently active and retired. They include kindergarten teachers, elementary school teachers, high school instructors and at least one university professor. There’s even one dude trying to fake his way through teaching Chinese students English in Beijing.
I cherish the efforts that my teachers put forth in aiding me along my journey to where I am today. I can even appreciate the infamous Sister Miriam Henry for making sure we learned all the basics necessary in grade one even though her methods could have been described as brutal. In fact, most of the Spanish Inquisitors would have winced at some of her antics.  I’m pretty sure one of my favourite current grade one teachers uses much more civilized methods to control her students. Right, JS?
The most important thing my teachers instilled in me was the desire to learn more by encouraging my curiosity. This desire did not stop just because I stopped going to school. In the work place, I always made it a habit to stick my nose into every aspect of the business because I wanted to know how every operated not just what went on in my little corner of the office. I’ve always found that the more I learn the greater my appetite to learn becomes and as well the more I want to share my gained knowledge and/or opinions thus I’m inflicting my love of writing upon you.
It would be a lie to say that all the teachers I ran across were excellent and some I would even question their competence but I do not recall running across one teacher that was only in it for the money or the benefits. Oh sure there probably are some teachers in this category but there are much more lucrative ways to accumulate wealth. Despite rumours very few teachers spend their entire summer at their villa in the south of France planning their winter vacation in Aspen.
With regard to education in general, I am saddened to see the path our system is heading. There seems to be a misguided movement that believes marks and test scores are the ultimate goal. It is one thing to use the rote method in teaching basic skills and even then it is not necessarily that beneficial. I can remember being an abysmal failure when it came to rapidly reciting or worse writing out the times tables but I was always the first to identify the answer in a word or logic problem. We have calculators to do the actual multiplication now; the real trick is in figuring out the path to the answer. And would someone please tell me the logic in having to know that 11x12=132 when our entire system is Base 10?
The best way to instil a love of education in a child is not to point out his or her weaknesses but to encourage their strengths. This is where our current system is starting to fail us. Art, music, PE and other creative programs are being cut. This will only lead to more students giving up on education.
The current attitude to post-secondary education is heading in the wrong direction as well. There is a major movement for universities to become job training centers rather than places of education. I think the world would be much better off with more MA’s in Medieval Languages and less MBA’s. (Does that make up for the earlier cheap shot, RD?)
Note to all the English teachers reading this: I couldn’t give a rat’s ass if I made a few grammatical errors here! ;-P
Once again, Thanks, Teach!! :-D

Just in case you are wondering what the other most underappreciated profession is, it would be nurses. Although I have several fabulous friends who are in that calling I don’t plan on writing about them. Personally, I am not really fond of being in the position where it is necessary to deal with a nurse. However, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the wonderful things you do to help people in their times of need.

Postscript - June 15/14 - You can read about my new found increased respect for the nursing profession when you read about my adventures in "How I Spent My 'Fall' Vacation"

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day here in the Magic Kingdom. Oh crap, wrong theme park! ;-)

I Remember

June 2, 2011 - Today marks the third anniversary of Lorraine succumbing to that horrible disease, cancer. I thought it would be a good time to share a few thoughts about loss and remembrance.

People including myself always wonder what to say when someone is terminally ill or someone has lost another. Maybe I can help you with a few answers. I used to shy away from those who had lost a loved one because I didn’t know what to say. I now know better. Guess what? Try saying “I never know what to say”. Realistically what you say is irrelevant and for the most the actual words are meaningless to the person. It is not the words that comfort them because there really is no magic phrase that will make them feel better. It is the fact that you acknowledge their loss that gives them a little boost.

As far as terminal illness goes, believe it or not the most ridiculous question is the best to ask. “How are you?” It seems stupid but we heard that question every time we visited the cancer clinic and it helps both the sick person and the one asking. If they answer “Fine” it means, “I feel horrible today and I don’t want to talk about it right now.” In that case change the subject. If they are having a “good” day, they will tell all about how they are doing. In that case encourage them to talk about their illness

Finally, I’d like to give some advice to others that have suffered the loss of a loved one. He or she wants you to go on living each day to its fullest. Just because you are enjoying your new life doesn’t disrespect their memory in fact by not you may be disrespecting them. They will always be on your mind and the hurt will never go away but as you heal you will find that even the tears that sneak down your cheeks will meet the curled lip of a smile as you remember all the good times.

Although I continue to move forward with my life, I will always honour Lorraine’s memory. As many of my regular Facebook followers know, I make it a special point during all my adventures to find a beautiful place to leave some of her ashes. And of course, the Pink Hat will travel with me until it’s completely threadbare. (The picture shown is from Lake Tahoe where we were married)

As far as remembering me when I’m gone, I have set aside instructions in my will that a party be thrown and for every one of you to rejoice in knowing that I got to know was a great honour for me. I also want you to remember that it isn’t officially a party until the police report is filed so go nuts! Note: I have no plans on leaving anytime soon. I plan on irritating you for a long time to come.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day here in the Magic Kingdom. Oh crap, wrong theme park! ;-)

100 (or is it 101 or is it 55 or is 34?) Years of Fun

Today, April 1, 2011 marks the beginning of my 35^th year working part-time for the Pacific National Exhibition (PNE)and I always have a good laugh about my starting date because after all isn’t April Fool’s day a great anniversary. I think would be an appropriate time to write about how these 170 or so acres have intertwined with my life.

Growing up in East Vancouver in a area historically know as Hastings Townsite, the PNE site was always part of my life. The park area was basically our playground as we grew up. We would ride our bikes all over the grounds, explore all the nooks and crannies of the facilities and basically being a nuisance to the security staff. (How ironic!)

All our pickup games of baseball, football, soccer and hockey were played on a small patch of green adjoining Callister Park, or on the BC Lions practice field in the northeast corner of the grounds. The home rink for my brief hockey career was played at the PNE Forum home of the Western Hockey League Vancouver Canucks where I scored an amazing total of two goals in my best year thus the reason for my “brief career”. My peewee football team was sponsored by Playland the company that operated the amusement park on the grounds. Although my athletic abilities could at best be described a somewhat suspect, I take pride in the fact that during these organized and not so organized games I had the honour of playing with and against several local, national and international sports heroes.

In addition to my youthful athletic adventures, the sports connection continued into my adulthood, the Nightowls Softball Club that I played on, coached, managed and babysat for twenty-five years was originally formed as departmental team challenging other PNE departments.

The annual fair was always the highlight of the year taking place the last two weeks of summer vacation. From the time we were allowed out on our own, we would spend every day on the fairgrounds causing havoc. Last spring, I was invited to an affair marking the 100^th anniversary of the PNE and it dawned on me that I had attended more than half those fairs and worked at over a third. (Crap! I’m old!)

As teenagers, the PNE became an even more important part of our lives. We would attend sporting events both amateur and professional (Vancouver Canucks and BC Lions) and most importantly rock concerts at the Pacific Coliseum. My first concert was Led Zeppelin in 1970 but the most outstanding was the 1972 Rolling Stones show that cost a whopping $6.00 per ticket. I was also very lucky to be dating Version 1.0 during Grade 12 and college and her mother was the switchboard operator at the PNE so we managed to get a lot of free concert tickets. (More about Version 1.0 later)

The memories of the PNE during my early life are so vast. One of the most vivid was sitting on the front porch of the mansion on Dundas Street listening to the screaming coming from Empire Stadium while the Beatles played their 22 minute set. (The concert itself was broadcast live on the radio.)

 I also remember watching two major fires from the fourth floor of our old rooming house. The most spectacular was when the main hill of the wooden roller burned down. The sadder one was when the stables at the race track caught fire and several horses perished. Years later, while working on the grounds during one fair another fire broke out on the docks of a nearby grain elevator and blanketed the park in noxious smoke. The area had to be evacuated of all guests and we were held on site on standby because the overnight shift could not get near the park. The horrible part of this ordeal is my beer garden security staff got stuck in one of the bars with nothing to amuse us but a pool table, two televisions and an open beer tap.

The PNE has always been a source of employment for youth and others living in East Vancouver and North Vancouver. Most people I grew up with worked on the grounds at one time or the other either directly for the PNE or one of the many exhibitors. My grandfather, dad, mom, brother, sister and nephew all worked on the grounds at one time or another. When The Crown Prince signed on to work in the parking department in 2005, he became the fourth generation of Donnelly’s to work on site. My first paying job was during the annual fair was in the Food Building for Principe’s Roma Café run by one of Vancouver’s more colourful characters, barber, boxing promoter and restauranteur, Al Principe. After two weeks of straining soup bones out of  Al’s secret family recipe spaghetti sauce your skin was so saturated the orange glow it didn’t fade until October.  The skin tone it produced made John Boehner and the clowns from “The Jersey Shore” look pasty faced. (Side note: Thankfully, Al’s secret family recipe went with him to the grave; the taste was reminiscent of tomato flavoured dish soap.)

My marriage to Version 1.0 ties in closely to the PNE. Our wedding reception was held on site at the PNE Board Room, now known as the Hastings Room. After we got married and while I was still seeking a full time career my mother-in-law arranged for me to be hired as a part-time usher. So if any of my co-workers or managers are looking for someone to blame, there you go. (Co-incidentally the last time I ran into Version 1.0 was a few years ago at the fair while I was heading for lunch at the Hastings Room.)

For me to go into the many work related stories of my time at the PNE would take forever. However the most vivid memory was in August of 1984 when I was recruited to be one of the VIP drivers in the annual PNE Parade through downtown Vancouver. The guests of honour that year were medal winners from the Los Angeles Olympics. I was lucky enough to draw the lead vehicle with Lori Fung, gold medalist in Rhythmic Gymnastics and Hugh Fisher, gold medalist in Canoeing. It was then that I got to hold an Olympic gold medal in my hands. The funniest part of event was stopping the entire parade so Lori could buy a balloon. The TV people just about had a fit! I got to repeat the driving performance the following year when we saluted the 75^th anniversary of the Canadian Navy; my passenger was a World War 1 veteran who shared some salty tales of downtown Vancouver as we passed through.

The best memories of any workplace come from the people we meet and I have made so many friends working at the PNE. The co-worker I miss most is my dear friend Barb (BJ). BJ and I were as thick as thieves and would do all kinds of silly things together including several road trips. One of our favourite PNE related activities was, along with a small group of friends, on Friday nights in the summer walk down to the racetrack and place a wager or two on the ponies then win or lose we would walk back through Playland and ride the Roller Coaster. (Yes, the same one that burned down previously.) The best thing that BJ ever did from me is introduce me to Version 2.0, Lorraine.

Although Lorraine didn’t ever work at the PNE, the picture at the bottom of the page does bring it back full circle. This was her being crowned Queen for the Day at the fair in 1967. More than likely I was in attendance that day seeing as I was always there as a kid.

The picture at the top of the page is really cool. In a bit of serendipity, in the midst of planning out this article, I took a trip out to Hope to visit my cousin, Colleen, and sift through a pile of photos that once belonged to my grandmother. Amongst all, “who the heck are these people?” shots, I found a few gems including this one of my mom and dad outside the main gate taken sometime in the early to mid-fifties by the famous Vancouver street photographer, Foncie Pulice.

If you would like to read more about the PNE, may I suggest ordering "100 Years of Fun". It's a great coffee table book full of photos and personal anecdotes.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day here in the Magic Kingdom. Oh crap, wrong theme park! ;-)

No Power Greater

Solidarity Forever - The events of the past month in Wisconsin and several other states in the US have compelled me to write a few thoughts about unions and collective bargaining.

I grew up in a working class neighborhood in Vancouver where the majority of families were connected to trade unions. Most members of my family have been proud members of a union at one time or another in their lives. This tradition has extended at least four generations from my grandfather being active in the Seaman’s Union to the Crown Prince who was a member of CUPE while he worked part time going to school.  I have been a member of CUPE for almost 34 years and have served in the thankless position of shop steward for a brief period and will now become more active again as a representative on our bargaining committee.

There are several misunderstandings and outright falsehoods about unions here are a few:

“I pay dues to the union but it’s never done anything for me” – For starters, the union is not some separate foreign entity; it is you and co-workers on your right and your left.  When was the last time you attended a union meeting? Have you ever asked for assistance from the union? The living wages and decent benefits were attained by collective bargaining not by the generosity of your employer.

“Union wages are too high and create unemployment” – This exactly the opposite. Employment only increases when the demand for goods and services increases and production of these goods and service requires more manpower. When an employer pays a decent living wage the employees will have more disposable income to purchase their and other employers products. This causes a multiplier effect in which rather than each party taking either a bigger or smaller slice of the pie; the pie becomes bigger for everyone. The idea of trickle-down economics has been proven time and time again to be a failure. No employer ever created a job magnanimously; the demand for his product created the jobs so he could keep up with the demand.

“Union employees are lazy and you can’t fire them” – Workers, both union and non-union, as a rule take pride in their efforts. There are lazy workers and employers. People do not want to work alongside or for slackers. As for firing, every collective agreement contains to very important sections; the management rights section that allows the employer to operate his business in a productive fashion and to lay off employees for economic reasons and a disciplinary section which includes all steps required both for discipline including dismissal for cause. What the contract does is protect the employee from being unreasonable or vindictive disciplinary action.

“I don’t need a union. I make more than a union worker gets for my job” – Yes, maybe this is true but the reason you are getting that wage is because your employer is trying to stay competitive with similar union shops. Also, more than likely when you include benefits such as extended health, dental and pensions at best you are getting equal compensation. If similar skill set positions were not unionized, your wages would be lower. Again an employer is not going to just pay high wages because he is a generous person, he is going to pay the market price for labour just as he is going to pay market prices for raw materials.

“Unions are too politically powerful” – It is the political influence of unions that has brought about changes that we have all become accustomed to. It was labour’s influence that brought about universal healthcare, pensions, workers’ safety, paid vacation, overtime compensation and a reasonable work week. However, the actions of the Wisconsin governor and other governors throughout the US have proven that a lot of what has been fought for is fragile when large corporate donors  attempt to distort the balance of power.

“I will lose everything I gained from belonging to a union when we go on strike.” Over ninety percent of contracts are settled each year without even the threat of a strike vote being invoked and an even greater percentage of unionized workers will retire without ever spending one day on the picket line.

“We should have ‘Right to Work’ laws here” – Jurisdictions with “Right To Work” laws have the lowest mean average incomes, highest poverty rates and lowest literacy rates in the United States. Right to Work really means the right to work for less. A good dramatic example of this can be seen in the movie “Norma Rae” which is based on the Garment  Workers’ Union  fights against the J P Stevens Textile Company in the southern United States.

To continue to protect your hard earned rights as a worker, I urge everyone to become politically active and seek out and support candidates that are friendly to workers’ rights and to defeat candidates like Scott Walker in Wisconsin that take their marching orders from anonymous corporate donors.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day here in the Magic Kingdom. Oh crap, wrong theme park! ;-)

What?... Me Wear Pink? ;-)

February 23 – Today is "Pink Shirt Anti-Bullying Day" and yes, I will be wearing pink today. Okay, I know for all of you that know me or have read a few any of my long boring submissions, you realize it’s not a big stretch for me.

Today, I would like to share a few random thoughts about bullying.

On occasion throughout my life I too have been a victim of bullying. Yes, I was always been the one of the tallest kids in my classes during both elementary school but I would describe myself even now as a gentle giant. Because I was a bit more sensitive and caring than most boys my age, more aggressive boys tended to pick on me usually by incessant teasing and sometimes physical intimidation. However because of my caring nature I also tended to befriend more of the “different” kids in school.

During my adult life, I worked for several companies whose owners could be described best as bullies. Rather than encourage good results, they tended to berate you , and chastise you in front of others for your mistakes.

I was lucky enough to have a strong enough resolve to overcome the schoolyard bullying and in fact befriended some of the offenders later in my high school days as they mellowed and I became stronger mentally and emotionally. As far as those bullying bosses go, they can all burn in hell especially my first full time employer. He was the most despicable person I ever met and believe me, I have met some evil characters in my life.

Some schoolyard bullying can be attributed to our pack/herd mentality where competition for the alpha position. Where a would be contender cannot rise to the head of the pack using his or her legitimate leadership skills, he/she will resort to physical, mental and emotional threats and actions to gain status. A more diabolical form of bullying could be more equated with sadism where the bully truly enjoys inflicting pain on the victim.

Through friends’ children, I have been witness to both types of the above. One of my neighbour’s granddaughters was harassed so much by other girls in her high school she was forced to transfer to a school a considerable distance from home. Luckily, this was for the most part the end of the harassment and she is happily working and in a loving relationship.

The second occurrence involved the 12 year old daughter (“M”)of the woman who lived across from me. I was a bit puzzled when they moved from a three bedroom townhouse in North Vancouver into a basement suite 30 kilometers away. I originally assume it was to reduce the mother’s commute to work from 45 minutes to 5 minutes. I was still puzzled why “M” would be so happy to move away from the area in which she grew up. This would not be the normal reaction of an adolescent girl. I later found out that the real reason was “M” was being constantly picked on by a group of neighbourhood girls and moving was the only solution. The bullying became sadistic when these same girls continued to harass “M” online long after she had moved and was no longer a threat to their pecking. I know my young friend is a strong person and she will eventually persevere. Unfortunately there are way too many children and young adults who are not that strong and they will be scarred for live or face much worse consequences.

We all have these stories about either being bullied or witnessing bullying but what we never admit to is our own transgressions. Can anyone truly claim they have never made anyone do something by using intimidation or threats be it physically, emotionally or mentally? Have you ever teased anyone for your own or others amusement? It is only when we look inward at ourselves and rectify our own behavior will we begin to clean our own homes of this disease. Once we do that we need to help others clean their houses.

Will wearing pink bring an end to bullying? No, of course not! But if seeing your pink T-shirt makes one person aware of the harm they may be doing  we are on our way towards winning the war.

So today I will be wearing my pink golf shirt, my pink flamingo socks, pink shoelaces and as you can see I painted my nail pink.  And to stay in the colour scheme guess what 80s teen classic I plan on watching this afternoon? Hey, just call me Molly! (Make that Andie if you’re a John Hughes fan!)

Note: However I am sorry to report that the pink cupcake fell victim to a bully. But she died for a good cause.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day here in the Magic Kingdom. Oh crap, wrong theme park!

Ch-Ch-Changes



For over thirty-five years I have adorned facial hair in one form or the other with the exclusion of one or two brief periods being clean shaven. Some of these changes in style were for the better while others... Well you be the judge. BTW – Don’t judge the fashions, you all wore polyester at one time. ;-P

The first picture was from my pre-‘stache life at the beginning of my senior year in high school. We then progress to end of the year where I first donned a moustache. Not a great one but good enough to get me served at the LCB.

We then progress into the late seventies with my Vegas – Sonny Bono look. (The photo with Version 1.0 was actually taken in a Las Vegas showroom) Not bad especially when you see the consensus worst look I ever had, the Fu Manchu. Eww! Luckily I listened to my all my distaff friends and lost this ‘stache.

In the early eighties, I decided  to try a full beard and the next photo is the start of this plan where it all began camping at Lightning Lake with my friend BJ and the rest of the Four Mousekateers. BJ wasn’t a fan of beards but for some reason she really liked the look on me and even chastised me for briefly shaving it off until she found out I was starting a new job hunt. That search failed so next chance I got grew it back and that brings us to the next phase where it was at its thickest and darkest. Shortly thereafter I wore it lot shorter and thinner.

As I grew older the hair on my head remained its mouse turd brown colour (no gray) but as you can see in the photo with Lorraine my beard had begun to show my age turning a telltale white. Lorraine was the other big fan of my beard although her main reason she thought I should keep it was to hide all my extra chins. :-(

This brings us down to the big shock I warned you about. This was a decision that took me several months to make and it finally came down to wanting to expose parts of my body that have rarely seen daylight to the topical sunshine. SURPRISE!!!

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day here in the Magic Kingdom. Oh crap, wrong theme park!

Yes, Virginia...!

I still believe in Santa Claus. You will never hear me uttering the phrase “Bah, humbug”. Also you could never call me a Grinch although I have appeared a little green on the occasional Christmas morning. Hee hee!I have always loved the Christmas season. There really is something in the air that always makes me feel good during the month of December or maybe it’s just my olfactory glands overreacting to the smells of fresh cut fir trees and gingerbread. And before you snap at me I too also feel the stress the season brings. I just have my own way of dealing with it in a positive manner.

As we progress through our ever changing life, we also go through different phases of our Christmas experience. As children, the days leading up to Christmas were always filled with excitement including visits to the department store Santa. I defy anyone to tell me that the longest day of the year occurs at the Summer Solstice; any kid can tell you the longest day of the year is Christmas Eve. Of course, it wasn’t all fun and games, as a good Catholic school boy I did have to go to Christmas Mass.  Even then it was a lot more festive than regular Sunday Mass. Also, it seemed that I would always come up with lovely illnesses during the Christmas break from school including measles and pneumonia. What fun is it being sick if you can’t miss any school?

As a teenager, I never lost the Christmas spirit but it tended to wane a little. The one tradition I miss because no else seems to like plum pudding was Dad soaking it in brandy and setting it aflame and then heaping hand whipped cream on it. By the end of the family Christmas dinner, I couldn’t wait to head out the door and hang out with my friends.

My real enthusiasm for the holiday was brought about by the lovely Version 1.0. She was the real Christmas freak and it became infectious.  We adhered to several old seasonal traditions which evolved in traditions of our own. One of my favourite things about this short period in my life was our Christmas tree. We started with the usual coloured glass balls but worked on replacing them slowly with specially selected individual ornaments. Unfortunately, she ended up with all the Christmas decorations. Hopefully, she still has a few of the good ones especially my Kermit the Frog and Gonzo ones.

Then came the in-between time; for the first time in my life, I was living on my own. Not a lot of Christmas spirit is expected of a single man in his mid-twenties but I still managed to keep my love for the holiday alive. I didn’t go overboard with adornments for my tiny apartment but did have a few holiday trinkets spread around. I always found some friends to share a cup or two of cheer on the Night Before. The best of these events were several at the McIlroy Sisters annual Christmas Eve Party. Hey, nothing says Yuletide more than imbibing mulled wine with five tall gorgeous blondes!

When Lorraine and I got married I began to indoctrinate her on the joys of Christmas beginning a new set of traditions and special Christmas superstitions. The three biggest being the orange at the toe of the stocking, no presents are allowed under the tree until Christmas Eve and I have to buy at least one present on Christmas Eve. I did keep one of my old habits and continued to add at least one new dated ornament to the tree each year. As much as possible these ornaments had to have some special significance. We would look for these ornaments whenever we travelled and would quite often find just the right one.  The rest of tree was filled with Disney character decorations including a Mickey Mouse tree topper. This is no surprise to anyone that knows me.

When the Crown Prince was born it brought a completely new aspect to Christmas. Being an only child, he was definitely well looked after under the tree. One of the new traditions that developed was reading “The Night Before Christmas” to Bryan every Christmas Eve. This carried long after most childhood traditions would have thought to have expired by demand of the Prince.

In 1995, we moved down the hill a bit from our condominium and moved into a townhouse. It was then my obsession with lights was born. Because of constraints due to size and restrictions I can’t compete with Clark Griswold but I do have the brightest place in the whole complex. Along with the tree and the lights I started work on the rest of the interior and yes it includes more Disney stuff. (Oh, did I mention the Crown Prince and I are shareholders in the Walt Disney Corporation?)

Every year, I would spend at least two days in the kitchen baking dozens of cookies both for consumption and to re-distribute.

                From about the 18^th until the big day we would make a point of watching a least one of the Christmas movies from our collection each night. Lorraine’s favourite was “The Santa Clause” mine was more of a classic “Miracle on 34^th Street”. For some reason my eyes would always seem to water near the end of each film. I suspect it was due to some sort of allergy to gingerbread or holly.

I am definitely a bit old fashioned, I still mail out Christmas Cards. For you younger ones out there these are folded pieces of paper with pictures on them that you place inside another folded piece of paper. They arrive magically through a hole in your front door; and if it came from your grandmother you could shake it really hard and a dollar bill would fall out.

Because of my city dwelling life the Christmas song I’ve always related to is “Silver Bells”. One of the things I have always loved doing during the holiday season is going downtown at least once. Downtown Vancouver seems to change at this time from a sterile valley to a vibrant colourful wonderland. As I kid I remember taking the bus to see the amazing window displays at Woodward’s and Eaton’s. As adult, we would visit the Four Seasons to see all the trees and the Hyatt Regency to see the fantastic gingerbread houses or more correctly, gingerbread sculptures. Until recently, Robson Square was a great place to visit with all its lit up deciduous trees. Now it resembles a war zone.

My favourite memory of going downtown was in 1995. I had taken the Crown Prince over to Canada Place for the lighting of the sails and the sail past of the Carol Ships. (Lorraine had opted to go to an office party at a mediocre Chinese restaurant.) The two main corporate sponsors of the  event happened to be Signature Vacations, promoting new packages to Disneyland and the new Ford Centre for the Performing Arts, promoting their opening production , Showboat. (Hmm! Does anyone out there know somebody that loves Disney and musical theatre? Hee hee!) We happened to get there early and were practically alone viewing the newly refurbished Woodward’s windows that were on display when Mickey Mouse walked out of the backroom to do some pre-show media stuff. We were able to get a picture of Bryan in his Santa hat and Mickey all to ourselves. Later on as part of the lighting ceremonies the entire cast of Showboat including Cloris Leachman appeared on stage and pulled a bunch of children including Bryan up and read “The Night Before Christmas”. Bryan still has the book they gave him. (Lorraine never forgave me for her missing this because guys as you know no matter what it is “all your fault!” lol!)

Coincidently, although Vancouver has been called a cultural void by many it has also been the originating point for several North American urban holiday traditions.  The decorating of the tall construction cranes first became popular in downtown Vancouver. The Carol Ships were first introduced in our harbour to serenade the sailors on the ships waiting to load their cargoes and stuck an ocean away from their loved ones on Christmas. One of the arriving cargoes that was always welcomed every year was the arrival of the Mandarin oranges (The ones in the wooden crates). There was always a big ceremony on the docks with women in kimonos greeting the ship. Vancouver got the oranges first adn the rest of the continent had to wait.  Of course, nowadays, they are on the shelf all year round and come from every so the novelty is missing.  The New Year’s Day Polar Bear Swim was started by the Pantages family here in English Bay. Note: As crazy as I am the swim was one tradition I never participated in. I almost did once but I was running a fever of 102 that day so I ended up holding the blanket while my silly pals waded in. Yes, you’re right there’s still time and I may just do it one year.

Now that Lorraine is gone, I try even harder to maintain all the traditions. I still go nuts putting up my lights, decorating the living room and adding a new ornament each year. This year it’s one I purchased on my most recent trip to San Francisco. By coincidence, the only remaining ornament I have from the Version 1.0 days is an ornament we bought in San Francisco and originally gave to my mom. Unlike a lot of people my lights and decorations stay up until January 6, the Feast of Epiphany when the three wise men supposedly arrived in Bethlehem. This is actually the twelth day of Christmas. (BTW – I find “The Twelve Days” and its novelty derivatives to be the most tedious of all Christmas songs even if I can do a mean “Five Golden Rings” with my deep bass voice.)  

The only tradition I have discontinued is the cookie baking; at least for the time being. For several different reasons it ended up the last two times with me consuming most of them over a period of several weeks. At least by then I had something I was more than willing to give up for Lent.

You will not have a problem catching me wearing a furry Santa hat and as well quite often one of my several Christmas ties. However despite rumours to the contrary,I do not own a gaudy holiday sweater.

Despite being somewhat sceptical of organized religion, I do not take a totally secular approach to the holiday. I believe it is important that we celebrate the birth of Jesus of Nazareth even if we actually celebrate it at the wrong time of year. All indications according to other historical events of the time point to him being born in the spring but obviously this would have conflicted with Easter celebrations. The early Christians decided it was best to separate the two most important holidays of their faith so they came to celebrate Christmas in winter so it could easily be hidden amongst other festivals in particular the Roman Saturnalia Feast. Rather than go into to any theological arguments of who exactly Jesus was, I believe what is important was the message he and other “ancient prophets” such as Buddha and Mohammed and “modern prophets” like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. were trying to convey. After you peel away all the layers of dogma that have been piled on throughout the years, all of their teachings can be summed up in the one phrase “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.  If everyone lived by this one simple rule there would be “Peace on Earth and goodwill towards man”.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day here in the Magic Kingdom. Oh crap, wrong theme park!